The Struggle Of Yin and Yang
by Bao Li Na
Summary: Mulan and Shang decide to take a big step that will change their lives. However, they still confront each other...Will they ever find balance? CHAPTER 16 UP! Title itself gives summary away...will the truth be out at last?
1. Default Chapter

WARNING: DO NOT READ, UNLESS YOU'VE READ YIN YANG OUT OF BALANCE (THE FIRST PART TO THIS SAGA)!!  
  
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT (REVIEWS, EMAILS, and COMMENTS) TO: LYNN, Angel452, ToughSpirit, Erika7, Jhs Rockerbaby, lunerbrittania, Gizelle, Jayv, Rory4, WildDragonFire, and whoever is reading this.  
  
Sorry for taking so long. I wrote this chapter like 3 times, but I wish you all enjoy reading it at least as much as I did writing it.  
  
The Struggle Of Yin and Yang (The Sequel to Yin Yang Out Of Balance)  
  
Chapter 1: Winning the Family  
  
It was early morning on a warm summer day. Fa Mulan was inside the barn trying to steal the eggs from the hens for breakfast. She threw some rice on the ground and all the hens approached her to eat. All the hens, that is, except for the fattest of them. Mulan knew perfectly that she was the one who laid more eggs, but she wouldn't move just to protect the eggs she was sitting on. Mulan sighed and checked out to see what the other hens left behind to eat. There were only two eggs and it wouldn't be enough for the whole family. Mulan headed toward the fat hen. She stared at her for a while waiting for the hen to look somewhere else that wouldn't be her. After some minutes, the hen's eyes began to close. Slowly, Mulan picked up a stick trying to make the least noise with it. Then she poked the hen which made her jump cackling. "Yes!" Mulan exclaimed seeing there were seven more eggs for breakfast. Mulan began collecting the eggs, but she was not fat enough, so the hen attacked her. In the process, Mulan dropped the 3 eggs she had stolen, which obviously broke. "How can you be so selfish?" Mulan managed to get the hen off her. The hen sat on the remaining eggs eying Mulan smugly, as if daring her to try to steal her eggs one more time. Mulan stuck her tongue out at the hen and left the barn, cursing through gritted teeth.  
  
Mulan's mood was not very good that morning, she entered the kitchen still fuming about the hen, "I'm going to kill that stupid little." Mulan's eyes went wide open and her jaw dropped in surprise. Li Shang was sitting by the table wearing his uniform and a handsome half grin on his face. What on Earth was he doing there? Mulan felt so ashamed of her careless appearance; her old worn out clothes adorned with feathers, egg and dirt. "Excuse me," she said and ran to her room to get something decent to wear.  
  
"She still is very shy with the guests," Granny Fa whispered, "I keep telling her not to be so messy and pay more attention to her appearance."  
  
"She's ok," said Shang, eyes still fixed on the door Mulan had entered previously.  
  
Granny Fa nodded and rubbed her hands maliciously under the table.  
  
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*  
  
Thanks to the incident with the fat hen, Fa Li prepared bacon and rice for breakfast. Mulan was relieved that Shang liked the food, or at least he said so.  
  
After breakfast, Granny Fa left the table with the excuse that she hadn't slept the previous night and Fa Li went to the village to get some groceries. Mulan and Shang were left alone (on purpose, naturally) to talk. Instead, none of them said a word until Mulan broke the ice, "What are you doing here?"  
  
Shang grinned nonchalantly and answered, "Easy. I come in peace. I thought we agreed to be friends. Don't you remember?"  
  
Mulan remained silent for an instant thinking if he was provoking her like he had been doing months before, but well, indeed, they had even shared a passionate kiss once and as far as Mulan knew, Shang had enjoyed it as much as she did. Mulan chuckled and said simply, "I just find it strange."  
  
"Sorry it couldn't be any sooner," Shang began, "There was plenty of job for me the past months. You know after Camp Wu Zhong got burned out, we had to find a place to train the soldiers; and of course, lots of paper work.  
  
Mulan nodded; still very surprised he wasn't teasing her yet. "So where is the new camp?"  
  
Shang answered, "Actually, it's bigger than Camp Wu Zhong and it has a small building used as the official's quarters."  
  
"That's great."  
  
"So, what about you?" inquired Shang.  
  
"No big deal," Mulan answered and a tired sigh escaped from her lips, "Chores.the life of a peasant."  
  
"And how is the life of a peasant?"  
  
"I doubt you would find it amusing."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because it's simple and very common," Mulan said, "No adventures, no surprises, it's just the same routine every day."  
  
"You know life in the army is a routine."  
  
"Well at least it's exciting."  
  
"So, you will tell me nothing. Are you?"  
  
"Probably not, unless you want to come along."  
  
Mulan led Shang to the little field were they planted the rice. "We sale it in the village," said Mulan.  
  
"So your family eats from all that this farm produces?"  
  
"Right.it's not."  
  
"Please, do tell, it is interesting.  
  
Mulan was startled by Shang's interest on her ordinary life. He came from a noble family, and was probably spoiled by luxuries and things she dared only dream of. Mulan was also a bit uncomfortable to the fact he didn't even mention the kiss they shared the last time she saw him. It was like it never really happened. She thought perhaps Shang only wanted her as a friend and she had misunderstood things. After all, she was the one who started it all. Maybe she had forced the kiss upon him, and he didn't want to be rude to her, so he kissed her back.  
  
Just then, Fa Li arrived interrupting Mulan's thoughts. "Perfect. The rice is ripe so you can peel the husks."  
  
Mulan tried to complain, but the lady silenced her by saying, "We'll go to the village and sale it tomorrow." Fa Li turned to Shang, "Come inside, General Li Shang, it's cooler than here."  
  
Shang turned to Mulan and replied, "I would like to help Mulan with the rice."  
  
"It won't be necessary," Mulan said, "I can do it myself. It's not as hard as it seems."  
  
"She's right," agreed Fa Li, "Besides, you are our guest."  
  
"I insist," Shang began in a persuading voice. "I would really like to help."  
  
"If that is what you wish," said Fa Li nodding.  
  
"Shang, you can't!" Mulan exclaimed indignant, "Mother you have to stop him!"  
  
"Mulan, please," Shang begged, "Allow me to help you for once."  
  
"Fine," she replied, "but if you start complaining, it won't be my fault."  
  
"Mulan," Fa Li said finally, "Go get changed. You don't want to mess your dress."  
  
"Yes mother," said Mulan through gritted teeth.  
  
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*  
  
Mulan put on her father's training clothes, except for the socks and shoes, exposing her firm legs from below the knees and her gracious little feet. As she went past the kitchen, she found her mother and grandmother giggling and peeking through the window.  
  
"What are you doing?" demanded Mulan.  
  
"Mind your business, child," replied Granny Fa, "I would be outside, if I were you."  
  
Mulan quirked her brow in confusion, what could be so interesting outside? Then she remembered. There he was removing his robe, showing his perfect, muscular body. Mulan's heartbeat raised and her cheeks began to burn.  
  
"Stop staring child and go outside," said Granny Fa.  
  
"I'm staring at nothing," she lied.  
  
"You call that nothing," Granny Fa sighed dreamingly, "I wouldn't doubt he's the son of some god."  
  
"If I were him, I wouldn't want people harassing me," said Mulan.  
  
"We're not harassing him!" Granny Fa exclaimed indignantly, "We are only admiring the landscape. You see it's a beautiful day.warm and sunny." The elder lady took out a fan and produced air, "I'm so hot."  
  
Fa Zhou entered the kitchen clearing his throat. "Good morning, ladies."  
  
Immediately, the three of them turned to Fa Zhou smiling nonchalantly.  
  
"What is so wonderful about the landscape?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'd better go. Mom wants me to peel the rice." Mulan walked out of the kitchen before her father would say something more.  
  
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+  
  
"Sorry for making you wait so long," Mulan began as she walked to Shang, "I couldn't find these clothes."  
  
"I don't mind," said Shang.  
  
"Oh, you'll have to take off those," said Mulan pointing awkwardly at Shang's shoes, "if you don't wish to mess them up."  
  
"Right."  
  
So they began peeling the husks of the rice. Hours went by like that. They talked while they worked under the warm summer sun. Mulan glanced at Shang's sculptural body when he wouldn't notice and turn to the rice right away. As for Shang, he didn't waste the chance to check out Mulan's curves while she was unaware. They were done by sunset. Shang wiped the sweat from his forehead and let out a heavy sigh.  
  
"Are you willing to help us again?" asked Mulan playfully.  
  
"Certainly," Shang answered with a smile across his face.  
  
"You're kidding!" said Mulan at the same time she splashed some water from the paddy on Shang.  
  
He shook his head and chuckled, "Always picking a fight. When will you learn?"  
  
"Come on, let's go and have dinner."  
  
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+  
  
Fa Li prepared some Cantonese rice and chicken for dinner. The whole Fa family gathered round the table to eat the exquisite meal. Shang complimented Fa Li for the great job with the cooking and Grandmother Fa could not waste the chance to say she had contributed with the meal. Fa Zhou silently listened to the conversation and occasionally turned his eyes suspiciously to the young General (who stammered when he spoke and avoided as much as possible to look at the elder man's daughter; he kept his eyes fixed on the bowl of rice and chopsticks before him.)  
  
Shang's uneasiness around Fa Zhou decreased when the elder man finally spoke up addressing him. "General Li Shang, I must thank you for your kindness today. Not many of your status would offer to help the peasants."  
  
"It was.my .pleasure.I mean." Shang stuttered, "You're always welcome if you need my help.sir.after all your daughter.has.has.done for .me, sir."  
  
Fa Zhou placed his entwined hands on the table. The expression on his face was solemn and tranquil, yet no sign of fondness towards Li Shang. "Once again, thank you very much."  
  
"General," Grandmother Fa began, "I was wondering if you would like to accompany us to the market place tomorrow to sell the rice."  
  
"Granny!" Mulan finally dove in, "That's called abusing! Don't you see, Shang has more important things to do."  
  
"Actually, I have this whole week duty-free," said Shang, turning for the first time to face Mulan.  
  
"I suppose you want to rest. You had enough work today," Mulan could no longer hide her embarrassment.  
  
"I still want to go to the village with your family," Shang concluded.  
  
Mulan pursed her lips, shook her head and hid her face with the palms of her hands.  
  
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ The following morning, the three women of the Fa family woke up early. The elder ladies insisted Mulan should wear a nice dress and put some make-up on her face for Shang would be there. Of course, Mulan refused to wear make- up and continuously repeated Shang wouldn't go because he had more important things to do, and they were guilty of forcing him to be polite.  
  
Right in time, standing at the front door, was Shang when Mulan opened the door to exit.  
  
Like the fair gentleman he was, Shang offered to carry the sacks full of rice and place them on his steed's back.  
  
"Shang," Mulan began once they reached the little stand were they would sale the rice, "Doesn't it bother you to be seen with us?"  
  
Her question made Shang let the sack he carried, land heavily on the ground.  
  
"No," he replied anxiously, "does it bother you to be seen with me?"  
  
"Of course not," she answered honestly, "it's just that people talk and invent these horrible things about."  
  
"Listen Mulan," Shang cut her off, "I learned how to deal with rumours long ago, and as long as my conscience is clear, there's nothing to worry about."  
  
"It does make sense," said Mulan smiling, "I'll keep that in mind,"  
  
Shang smiled back at her and for an instant, a wonderful instant, their eyes locked.  
  
Mulan was the one who broke the eye contact and asked. "Shang, why are you doing all this?"  
  
"Doing what?" he didn't understand what she meant.  
  
"Well, helping us.I mean.you.it's not your obligation."  
  
"Does my presence here bother you?"  
  
"Not at all," Mulan said, "It's just strange. I mean."  
  
Shang dared to take Mulan's hand in his own and bent his head for a closer look of her face. "Mulan," his voiced turned uneasy, "You know I am,.I suck at expressing my feelings." Mulan raised a confused brow, yet she was curious, wondering why was he so nervous. "You have no idea how grateful I am toward you for saving my life in so many occasions." He looked into Mulan's eyes. "And damn it, I've been a complete idiot around you. First I abandoned you in the mountains after I discovered you were a woman." He fixed his eyes on the ground hopelessly, "I have never loved and admired a woman as much as I love and admire you. I know I don't deserve you. I can't forgive myself for the horrible things I have done to you, that's why I was suck a jerk the second time you joined the army.I thought I could forget you by teasing you and you would hate me for that. It was useless, on the contrary, I got to know you better and as silly as it may sound, I enjoyed teasing you, because you would pay attention to me."  
  
He made a pause and continued. "Remember we agreed to be friends and we would figure out the confusion we were feeling the time we kissed?" Mulan nodded silently, and to her surprise, Shang got down on his knees and proceeded, "The gods know I love you more than life itself and I really want to make it up to you." He planted a gentle kiss on Mulan's hand.  
  
Mulan finally opened her mouth to speak, "Shang, I don't need to forgive you, I was very silly back at camp Wu Zhong as well. There's no need for you to get down on your knees, please get up."  
  
But Shang didn't move. Instead, he asked. "If it isn't too much of a request.would you spend the rest of your life with me as my wife?"  
  
Mulan stared dumbstruck at the man on his knees before her. He had caught her by surprise. His eyes were pleading. "I don't know what to say," She whispered, "I need to think of it."  
  
Long chapter huh? I hope you liked it. Cliffhanger.I won't take so long with the following chapter. 


	2. Advise

Thank you very much for reviewing.it seems a good start. Lynn, WildDragonFire, ToughSpirit, Jodiey, Angel452, em, Whitesiren, and Hopeless romantic 4 ever.  
  
Chapter 2: Advise  
  
Mulan was cooking dinner. The baby began to cry so loud it seemed they were spanking him. She rushed to see what was going on with him. He seemed ok, he had just eaten, unless he needed a change of diaper.  
  
The little girl, Zhen screamed, "Mommy! Tell my brother to leave me alone!"  
  
Mulan took the baby in her arms and ran to find her two other children hitting each other violently. She pulled the girl by the hand and yelled at them both, "No more watching daddy practicing martial arts for you two!"  
  
"But mommy," complained the boy.  
  
"No buts," replied Mulan, "I'm sick and tired of you two trying to kill each other. Now, where are the twins?"  
  
The boy and the girl shrugged.  
  
"Mommy, it seems as if something is burning," said Zhen timidly.  
  
Mulan cursed in a whisper.  
  
"You said a bad word," gasped the little girl.  
  
"I'm sorry, please take care of your brother." She handed out the baby to the girl and went into the kitchen to find dinner turned out into ashes. Shang would be there any minute. Mulan let herself fall hopelessly and muttered, "Some kind of wife I turned out to be." She bent her back forward until her chin touched her knees. Once again, the baby began to cry loudly. Mulan got up and found the pour child tied with ribbons all around him and his sister giggling mischievously.  
  
"Kids!" Mulan yelled, "Leave him alone."  
  
Hearing his mother's voice the baby cried even louder. Seeing Mulan was angry, the two kids Zhen and Wing ran into their rooms.  
  
Mulan untied the baby and carried him back to bed so he would sleep. As she sang a lullaby she heard footsteps approaching.  
  
There he stood by the door with his uniform, tired from the day's exercise yet looking as handsome as he always did. "Hello, baby," he said. His elegant smile still made her go weak at the knees and the way his voice called her baby was the reason why she had five children already. "I found the twins with our neighbours."  
  
"Oh, I told them to stay inside," replied Mulan.  
  
"They said they wanted to have dinner there because.never mind. Is something being burned?"  
  
"Damn it again!" exclaimed Mulan and went past Shang.  
  
Shang sat on the bed next to his youngest son, who played with his little hands. He watched him for a minute and said softly, "Come now, close your little eyes. It's time for you to sleep." Shang closed the baby's eyes gently with the tips of his fingers, but the child opened them again giggling. "Please, little one, sometimes Mommy and I need to be alone." The baby stopped giggling and stared into his father's eyes in wonder. "I'll tell you when you're older, but for now go to sleep." He placed his hand on the baby's forehead and then moved it lower so he would close his eyes. The baby began to cry. "Shh.pronounced Shang, "I did nothing to you." His words were useless.  
  
Mulan returned to see what was going on, "What did you do to him?"  
  
"I only touched him!" said Shang defensively, "It's not my fault he's being spoiled by you, because he's mommy's little boy."  
  
Mulan bit her lower lip and replied softly, "Actually, not for long."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" asked Shang suspiciously.  
  
"I'm pregnant," let out Mulan sighing.  
  
"Again? But, our youngest son is only five months!"  
  
"You should be used to it by now, we have a child every year, and it's not my fault only, you were the one who did this to me."  
  
"Six children," said Shang, "Wow!"  
  
"I know, I look like a rabbit."  
  
"No, I didn't mean that baby." he inched closer and embraced his wife, "You know it's not true." He began kissing her neck.  
  
Mulan pulled away, "Not now Shang, this is serious."  
  
"Come on Mulan, you're only.it's not fair the last time we made love was like more than a month ago," complained Shang, "Now I'll have to wait until your bad mood is over.and it will probably take like a year."  
  
"Oh, and I suppose this is all my fault."  
  
"Well, you should be more careful."  
  
"You should learn to control your hormones!"  
  
"Me? You're the one who seduces me into bed!"  
  
"Ha! Poor Shang, his wife is a vamp and he's forced to have sex all the time!"  
  
She picked the miraculously now sleeping baby and placed him in his crate.  
  
Shang sat on the edge of their bed and began to take off his shoes and socks hopelessly.  
  
Mulan left the room and returned a minute later carrying a bowl of rice and chopsticks. Shang was already lying on the bed facing the ceiling. Mulan placed the bowl on Shang's stomach. He turned to her, expecting her to give him a reasonable explanation of what she had in mind. "Your dinner, darling," she feigned a sweet girlish voice.  
  
"Actually, I'm not hungry, baby," said Shang chuckling nervously. He knew she would know he didn't want to eat because she had prepared dinner. Inside, he wondered what could be more dangerous: eating what was in that bowl or his wife exploding in anger.  
  
"Fine, I knew it," said Mulan simply and lied next to him.  
  
"So, you're not angry at me?"  
  
Mulan turned to her husband slightly moving close to him. "Shut up and kiss me. I'm freezing."  
  
"As you wish," replied Shang inching closer to his wife and began to kiss her mouth. The kiss turned more intense when Shang got on top of Mulan.  
  
"I missed you, Shang," said Mulan breathlessly.  
  
"I missed you more," declared Shang and rolled over the bed with Mulan in his arms beneath him.  
  
For the thousandth time, the baby cried and the couple was forced to postpone their romantic honey moon number.well, they had lost track a long time ago.  
  
******  
  
Fa Zhou limped toward the front door and lifted the log to open it.  
  
"Good morning, honourable Fa Zhou," said Shang bowing his head respectfully.  
  
The elder man did the same in return, "Good day, General Li Shang, please get inside. I shall announce Mulan you are here."  
  
"As a matter of fact," Shang stuttered, "It would be better if she's not told I'm here."  
  
Fa Zhou stared at Shang in confusion. The young man appeared to be more nervous than the previous occasions he had visited them. "I mean no intrusion, General," Fa Zhou began politely, "but why is it you are not here to see my daughter?"  
  
"I came to have a word with you, Sir," answered Shang.  
  
The old man was beginning to feel worried. What kind of news would the young man deliver? Was there another war coming? Fa Zhou inquired, "Is it about my daughter?"  
  
Shang nodded in silence.  
  
"Follow me," said the elder man.  
  
On the way, Fa Zhou thought about the worst things that could happen to his Mulan.  
  
"Take a seat," said Fa Zhou gesturing toward the bench under the magnolia tree. Shang did as he was told and Mulan's father sat next to him.  
  
"What is going on with my daughter?" demanded Fa Zhou in a serious tone.  
  
"I see she has not informed you yet, sir."  
  
"What is she hiding from me?"  
  
"Well," Shang began, his eyes fixed on the ground not daring to look at the elder man, "I asked her if she wanted to marry me a week ago."  
  
Fa Zhou was so relieved to hear that, he almost sighed in front of the young General. "And what did she say?"  
  
"She said she needed time to think about it," replied Shang with the same disappointment he was feeling when Mulan gave him her answer.  
  
"Is that all you wanted to tell me?" asked Fa Zhou addressing Shang as if he were his son.  
  
Shang sighed shaking his head; and then bending his back a little, he hid his face behind his hands like a child embarrassed to talk to a stranger. Finally, he managed to say, "I was wondering if you, sir, could give us your blessing. Well, if Mulan agrees."  
  
Fa Zhou coughed and cleared his throat. "I must say you have some points in your favor, General," he went on, "You see, ever since Mulan returned home after defeating Shan Yu, lots of men have come here to ask me for her hand in marriage. All kinds of men: some of them my age or older, others around Mulan's age; yet none of them appeared to be worth marrying my daughter." He made a pause and continued, "Please correct me if I'm mistaken, but the moment I saw you walking into my house to return my helmet, I knew those weren't your true intentions. I noticed certain fondness in my daughter toward you, General Li. That's one point in your favor."  
  
Shang smiled lopsidedly at hearing the man's last sentence.  
  
"Yet you said nothing about betrothal during dinner, not until today," went on Fa Zhou, "And you told Mulan first you wanted to marry her instead of asking me." This time, Fa Zhou's words made Shang get goose bumps all over his body. Perhaps, he should've talked to him before he asked Mulan.  
  
"There goes another point in your favor," concluded Fa Zhou, "Because you care about her. Other men would have come straight to me and maybe try to bribe me, obviously not counting Mulan's opinion."  
  
It seemed they had removed a very heavy load from Li Shang's shoulders.  
  
"Despite of that, I can't give you my blessing if Mulan hasn't given you a yes."  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean," apologized Shang feeling stupid. He didn't remember feeling that stupid before.  
  
"You don't need to apologize, son," said Fa Zhou fondly patting Shang's back, "Like she said, give her some time. Mulan's like that. She might be feeling unsure of what she wants. Don't give up, after all, she never said no."  
  
"Thank you, sir."  
  
"Zhou, if you don't mind boy."  
  
"Right." 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: I'm back. I am really grateful for all of your reviews, and for all the people who requested a sequel for Yin Yang Out Of Balance. 

**Mulan's Final Decision**

By now Mulan was aware of Shang's visit. She kept peeking through the window as she saw her father and the young general engaged in a conversation. She wondered what the matter being addressed was. It was strange they had been talking for quite some time given the fact they usually barely exchanged polite expressions. Mulan could perceive the constrained expression upon Li Shang's handsome features. She sighed as she recalled him down on his knees pleading her to be his wife. Shang was a puzzle, and yet she desired to put all the pieces together to understand him better. Ever since the kiss they shared in the burned out ruins of what once was Camp Wu Zhong, he had been his honorable and polite self. For a week Mulan had been pondering on the thought on how her life would be if she married the young general. She was conscious with the fact that they would face issues; nevertheless, she knew that in spite of the previous disagreements the possibility of sharing a life with Shang was simply wonderful. But what had stopped her from accepting his offer? She thought about her life, and the future scared her. What if she was not worthy to be the wife of a general? What if they started having kids too soon? She shook her head. She was definitely not ready to have children yet. She had long tried to fight the feelings she had for Li Shang, mainly because it seemed impossible that such a refined man would want her as a wife. But now everything was different, and she learned that Shang loved her, and all that teasing at Wu Zhong was only a plea for her attention. Once again, Mulan sighed as she thought. "To hell with everything. I do love him back."

Mulan looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was about to take a very important step in her life. All she could hope for is that everything would be for the best. "It will be," she told herself as she headed to the gardens to meet Shang.

When the young general saw Mulan walking towards them, he swallowed hard. Fa Zhou noticed that Shang had gone paler. "I shall let you two talk in private," said the elder man getting on his feet.

"Thank you, Baba," said Mulan slightly bowing her head.

"So, what were you two talking about?" began Mulan.

Shang was aware of the tiny drops of sweat dripping from his forehead. He was nervous of what Mulan's final answer might be, but now he feared that the fact they had been talking about her would annoy her. He grinned slightly, and yet he did not spoke up. Shang acknowledged the new power Mulan had over him, now that she knew his intentions she could either make him the happiest man on Earth, or she could reject him and tear him apart.

"Are you alright?" She asked confused. "Is China alright?" She was beginning to feel worried. What if he had changed his mind about the marriage and he was trying to figure a way to break it to her?

Shang sighed and nodded. China was fine.

"Do you want tea, water or something?"

'I want you' he thought as he eyed her longingly. A few seconds later he uttered, "it's ok."

"Did my father threaten you in any way?" Mulan insisted, "Because if he did I am sure he did not really mean to intimidate you."

"No, Mulan he did not." He finally spoke up. Inside he was dying to hear her answer, but he recalled Fa Zhou's words. There was no need to pressure her.

"Shang, I want to talk to you."

"I want you too," he said, and he slapped his forehead for missing a very important verb. His own thoughts had betrayed him. "Sorry, I mean I want to talk to you too."

Mulan smiled fondly. She did not have to worry about him changing his mind. "I have come to a decision regarding your proposal. But I need to know a few things."

She was taking too long. All he needed to hear was a simple yes or a no. It was killing him.

"The truth is I want to marry you."

All of a sudden, the young general could feel that the heavy load had fallen from his shoulders. A sigh of relief escaped from him. He could breathe again. Regardless of how inappropriate it was considered, Li Shang planted a kiss on Mulan's mouth. At first she was startled, but it did not take her long to welcome his lips. Soon they were caught in each other's embrace. Their lips parted, but they remained close. "I swear I will be a good man to you, Mulan."

He was all she had dreamed of. Mulan chided herself for ever doubting him. "I hope I can fulfill your expectations."

"You are perfect the way you are," Shang gently kissed her forehead.

By now Mulan had completely forgotten about the questions she wanted to ask Shang. He loved her and that was what mattered.

Soon, the rest of Mulan's family joined the young couple, and their wedding was set to be in two full moons.

A


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note:**_Oh on the previous chapter I forgot to clear out that on chapter two the weird event was Mulan daydreaming of what the future could be like. Supposedly there was a margin where I separated the dream from the actual events, but it did not show on I'll take care of correcting that. ___

**The Perfect Moment**

Shang cursed as he read the most recent report from the northeastern troops. Huns had mocked the security of the Great Wall and penetrated the country. There had been a couple of battles, and as a result, 1,743 soldiers had fallen. Reinforcement was needed immediately. The timing could not be more inconvenient, His wedding to Fa Mulan was only three weeks away. The young general was tired of war, but he had made an oath to his beloved country. His duty was to defend it from all danger. He had fought many battles, and yet he had no time to recover. All he wanted was some time away from the slaughtering and violence. He wanted to marry Mulan and enjoy her, the way husband and wife are allowed. He wanted to be a father and spend time with his kids. But now it all seemed like a distant dream. Who knew how much the war would extend. Probably it would take them more than a month to get rid of the invaders. Would it always be hard for them to be together? As far as he was concerned he could marry Mulan that very moment, but then it would not be fair. Shang found himself forced to temporarily postpone their wedding. He knew Mulan would understand, however, he was concerned on how her family would react to this. 

"I'm going with you," said Mulan when Shang finished explaining why they had to move their wedding day.

"What about the preparations for our marriage?" 

"We can take care of that when China is safe," she said reassuringly, "what is important now is that we have to…"

Shang felt terrible. Mulan had been very understanding. He did not want her thinking that the wellbeing of China was more important to him than her own happiness. He was upset by the thought of the kind of life that as a general he would offer her full of constant uncertainty. Nevertheless, she knew perfectly that Shang was devoted to his country and that was one of the reasons why she loved him. There was no need to argue or put him in a position where he had to choose her above his duties.

"I really wish we wouldn't have to call off the wedding," he went on apologetically, "but I promise you that as soon as we return, you'll be my wife. . . unless, you want to marry me right here, right now."

"As much as I would love to we need to save time. One day could make the difference between defeat and victory," said Mulan reasonably. Shang nodded. He was amazed how things had changed for good between them. Mulan did no longer complain. "Plus my wedding dress is not ready yet," she added.

"With all due respect," Shang said flirtatiously, "you don't need a dress." Mulan's face heated. He had never been this forward, but instead of taking it as an insult, she was flattered. "I'm serious," he insisted.

"Go on, then," whispered Mulan, "Make me your wife."

All of a sudden, the threat of war abandoned his thoughts. Shang was not expecting this answer. "Let your ancestors, the trees, the stone walls, and the setting sun witness that I love you Fa Mulan and I shall continue loving you until the day I am called to join my ancestors in Heaven," Shang said softly as he held Mulan's hand in his own and placed it on his chest, "and even after I shall part this world, my heart shall always belong to you, my love." He knelt before Mulan.

Mulan was melting inside. She got on her knees and placed her arms on Shang's shoulders. Her gaze was fixed on his eyes, which were glowing with warmth. "Let my ancestors, the flowers, leaves, walls and the rising moon witness that I love you Li Shang, and I shall honor you as a wife for all eternity," she went on, "and my heart, body, and soul belong to you, from this day forth." 

Shang cupped his hands around Mulan's face and bent over to kiss her. For a moment the world around them stopped. The sun setting giving way to the moon, their world was in perfect balance. 

Soon the moment of peace vanished, as they heard the front door opened. Mulan's family had returned from the market. They had to explain them the reasons why the wedding would be postponed.

Not one of Mulan's family members was pleased with the change of plans. Fa Li found a moment to let her daughter know she disapproved this decision and shot her a warning look that could only mean she had to be careful, and she could not just let Shang move everything with the excuse of war. Mulan nodded silently as Shang apologized for the twentieth time.

"There will be a wedding as soon as you return from the war," declared Fa Zhou.

With a nod, Shang let the elder man know he would keep his promise of marrying Mulan according to tradition.

"Take good care of her, Li Shang."

"Sure. I promise you she will return home safe."

"Must Mulan go?" inquired Fa Li concerned.

Shang shook his head. She had not been requested to join them this time; however, he knew she felt responsible for her country as well, and as much as he wanted to keep her home, she would refuse.

"Mother it is my duty."

"But you don't have to be a soldier now," Fa Li went on, "pretty soon you'll become a wife."

"She's right Mulan," said Shang softly, "you are spared from military duties now."

"But, I said I was going," she insisted, "being your wife will not change who I am."

Her words were true and convincing. Shang wanted to please her, but he too feared something would happen to her in the battlefield, and in the case it happened he would never forgive himself for permitting it. "As a general, I think it is fair you take part in defending your country, but as your husband I fear for your safety."

Mulan sighed. She did not want to start an argument with Shang. Perhaps staying was not that bad of an idea. Resigned, Mulan said, "Fine, I'll wait for you."

Shang knew perfectly this was not what she wanted, but he was relieved she would be away from danger. "Thank you."

Mulan approached Shang and embraced him. "I will be waiting for you to come to our wedding. Promise me you won't change your mind."

"I swear I won't." He planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "You and me, we still have a long way to go."

Li Shang bid the rest of the family goodbye. Mulan followed him to the door, and once again she wrapped her arms around him. "Take care, husband," she whispered.

"Take care, wife," he whispered back, "remember that I love you." With those final words, Li Shang left the Fa House riding his white stallion.

Mulan nodded helplessly. Inside she could feel an empty space.

"Now, back to the wedding business," Granny Fa said cheerfully. 

"Can we talk about it some other day?" Mulan went on, "I don't feel like it right now."

"Alright," said Granny, "just this once. But you need to be happy, it won't be long for you to be his wife."

Mulan smiled lopsidedly and headed to her room. She felt trapped, for she had never been the one to wait. Dreadful thoughts invaded her mind. What if Li Shang never came back from war? What if he decided not to marry her? What if. . . she fell asleep. That night her dreams reflected the negative reality of being married to a general. Months would go by, and she would remain home, hoping for his return, trying to keep herself busy with the house chores.

A few hours later, Mulan opened her eyes. It was still dark. She could not just sit and wait until Shang came back. There had to be another way, rather than this. She had done it before, and she could do it again. Avoiding to make any noise, she got from her bed and dressed up with her father's military robes and armor. This time she left a note explaining them the reasons why she had to go and apologizing. They had to understand she was not that kind of girl.

Mulan knew that before Shang and his troops parted, they would have to report themselves at the Forbidden City's headquarters in order to distribute the number of soldiers each company would take. Mounted on her loyal horse, Mulan headed to meet Shang.

The ride took several hours. She hoped they would still be there by the time she arrived, and to her good luck, they were preparing the horses and ammunitions when she got there.

"What are you doing here Mulan?" asked Shang. His tone was not annoyed, yet she could tell he was concerned.

"I couldn't stay," she explained, "as a soldier I am bound to accept your commands my general, but as your wife I refuse to remain doing nothing while your life could be in danger."

Shang remained silent for a while. He did not want to get upset with her so soon, but indeed she was stubborn.

"Please Shang," Mulan insisted, "we can work it out together."

_**Author's note: Like it? Please R&R. It's great to be back.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Shang knew that if he sent Mulan home she would hold it against him for a long time

**Author's Note:**I'd like to thank Canadarulz and Grace Potter Evans for reviewing the previous chapter. I have seriously been working on fanfiction these days. I opened another community about the classic Mulan fics, you are welcome to be part of the staff, just let me know. =) 

**Rage Burning in His Eyes.**

Shang knew that if he sent Mulan home she would hold it against him for a long time. She was after all his best soldier, and he could not deny a soldier his right to fight for the country. He promised himself that it would be the last time he would let her risk her life, he was going to make sure no Huns would come back so that they could live a peaceful life.

"You can stay, Mulan," Shang said simply, "but we need to talk."

Mulan nodded. His attitude made her feel guilty and selfish. Perhaps it would have been better for the sake of their relationship if she had stayed home; but he needed to understand that this was who she was. The woman he loved and vowed to love was not ordinary, she was a warrior and she had to fight.

"Shang, are you angry at me?" she inquired.

"No." was his answer. Nevertheless, she knew that her decision did not please him.

"What is wrong then?" she asked.

"We will need to discuss the matter later," replied Shang. "Right now we have to move, before the Huns penetrate any further."

Leaving Mulan behind, Shang led his horse forward in order to give instructions to the troops. They had agreed they would split. Shang would lead the main troop with five hundred and forty seven soldiers, while his lieutenant would lead the remaining three hundred and fifty two soldiers. Yao, Ling, and Chien Po would accompany lieutenant Shui. And so, the troops took their paths. Mulan had gone with Shang's troops.

They passed several villages, which were spared from any harm. In fact, the villagers were not aware of the Hun threat until they saw the soldiers.

Mulan did not know what to think about Shang. On the one hand she could tell he was trying to protect her, but on the other hand, she was upset with him, because his reaction made her wonder if he was one of those men who wouldn't bear the idea of having a wife who threatened traditions. She reminded herself about his promise of loving her the previous day; however, there were a lot of facts against him. He had been mean to her previously. Mulan shook her head, Shang was an honorable man, he could not have played with her feelings. Why would he trick her into believing that he loved her? No, it was not Shang. Yet he certainly was unpredictable. Perhaps they were not meant to be.

The sky turned dark. Shang announced they would camp in the outskirts of the nearest town, and he warned that they should keep the lights as dimly as possible, so that they would not give away their position to the enemy.

Mulan was trying to light a fire, when she noticed Shang heading towards her. She pretended she had not seen him, and continued rubbing the rocks.

"Have you eaten something?" was the first question that came up to him. She could perceive his mood was more serene than it was earlier that day.

"I ate some dumplings I brought from home." 

Shang sat next to her on the ground. "Let me help you." With one single friction of the rocks he was able to produce fire.

"Thanks" said Mulan pretending she was not impressed.

Shang held Mulan's hand in his own. She could not hide her surprise. 

"I want to talk to you about…"he paused to think. He did not know where to start. He cleared his throat and began, "Mulan, I . . . it's not like I don't want you to be here. Honestly, I would prefer you to be at home getting ready, but I know you feel responsible and I know you are very capable of defending yourself and the country, but there are many things that slip our hands, and right now you may think nothing will happen, but when we have children. . . Mulan, I cannot risk them growing up without a mother."

Mulan blushed. So he was already thinking about children. She had to admit she was a bit relieved, because she had considered the possibility that he would take back his promise. "But Shang," she protested gently, "I think I am a better soldier than a wife. I do not think I am ready to deal with the duties of a wife"

"Mulan, of course it's going to be hard," Shang went on reassuringly, "of all people you should know better. I mean no offense, but you were terrible at the beginning. Eventually, you worked hard and proved me and the entire world wrong."

Mulan could not help it and she chuckled as she recalled those first exhausting days in which she seemed to be getting worse and worse.

"My wife, I am proud of how far you have gone," Shang went on, "you are a heroine, and you have saved my life more times than I deserve."

Mulan's expression turned serious. He had his point. After all he had allowed her to stay, and she came up with a solution. "Fine, I will retire the moment I learn that I'm with child." Hopefully, that would be a long time away from the present.

"Fair enough," said Shang as he got on his feet. He did not want to draw much attention from his soldiers.

"Shang," Mulan called out softly.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for understanding." 

The young general nodded. "Make sure you blow out the fire before you fall asleep." 

All he desired was to be near her, to kiss her, to. . . He shook his head. There would be plenty of time to be together when the war came to an end. For now he needed to focus on his duties as a general.

That night Shang could not sleep. So many thoughts troubled his mind. He left his tent to check on Mulan's tent several times. She was fast asleep and he found her beautiful. Shang looked around, there was no one; he made his way into the tent. Shang dared to cover Mulan with the blanket she had kicked in her sleep. Shang saw her slippers. They were so tiny compared to his. He could not help but to smile. Did she know how grateful did he feel towards her? Did she know he would give his life to protect her? Shang kneeled next to her and gently kissed her. Mulan moaned. He did not intend to wake her. Slowly she opened her eyes. "Should we move on?" she asked.

"Not yet," he whispered as he stroked her hair, "go back to sleep."

Mulan closed her eyes and yawned. And suddenly she opened them back again, "Shang are you here for. . .?"

"Oh no, no," he cut her off, "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"You haven't slept at all right?"

"Nope," he explained, "I can't. China needs me to be alert in case those barbarians approach."

"China needs you get some sleep, so your senses are alert in the battlefield." She chided him softly. "Lie down."

He did not hesitate to do as he was told. Although he had to admit, he never thought she would want this as much as he did.

"Close your eyes. Relax," Mulan commanded, and he obeyed. "Take a deep breath."

He wondered why she couldn't just start by kissing him. "Let out the air, and breathe in again." Mulan gently massaged his head with her fingertips.

"That feels nice," he said.

"Shh . . .just relax," she whispered.

Shang wrapped an arm around Mulan's waist and pulled her body closer to him. Despite she was confused by his reaction, Mulan continued massaging his head until he kissed her. She did reply the kiss; however, she pulled apart and demanded, "Shang, what are you doing?"

"I . . . isn't it . . . consummating our marriage?" He felt so embarrassed; there was no easy way to explain himself. 'Why did she have to ask anyway if she was the one who initiated it?'

Mulan froze. Her true intentions were to make him fall asleep. She could not get angry at him, for the situation was awkward and hilarious indeed. Mulan covered her mouth and giggled.

Shang stared at her bewildered and sat up.

"What is so funny?"

Mulan could not answer, she could not stop laughing.

"Mulan, was it some kind of teasing?"

She shook her head and continued laughing.

Shang began to worry. If someone found out they were together, they would get in serious trouble, not to mention he would lose respect among his subordinates. "Mulan, be quiet, someone could wake up." 

She faked a cough and the laughter was gone. By then Shang was already standing to leave. 

"Shang, I was trying to make you relax so you would sleep," she explained and pursed her lips in order not to laugh.

How could he been so stupid? He was even more embarrassed. "Mulan, I'm sorry I thought you wanted me to…"

"Come back," she whispered, "we can start all over again."

Li Shang lied next to his beloved, and once again she began instructing him to close his eyes and take deep breaths. When he reached number eighty three, he heard a swift movement coming from outside. He hoped for Mulan's sake no one had gone looking for him to his tent. Shang slowly crawled and peeked outside, hundreds of arrows were being aimed in their direction. 

"Put on your armor Mulan!" he commanded and ran outside.

The rest of the soldiers took their positions.

Dodging the arrows, Shang quickly picked the sword inside his tent and fetched his stallion. "Fire the cannons!" he yelled as he took the lead.

It was chaos in there. Some of his soldiers had already been wounded by the arrows, and some tents had been set on fire. 

Soon the barbarians' roars filled the air, they were now visible.

The last canons had been fired taking down several dozens of Huns. It was time for the real battle to begin.

"Soldiers, we cannot let them win" Shang addressed his troop, "Be strong for your country and for those waiting you home."

The soldiers clutched their sword.

"Charge!" roared Shang.

They raised their swords and moved forward to meet the enemy.

Swords crashed and blood stained the earth.

Shang was dealing with three barbarians at the same time. He disarmed one of them with a kick but his other attacker aimed to his wound him. But the soldier next to him thrust his sword on the back of the barbarian, who roared in anger as he collapsed. Shang took care of the third attacker on his own. When he turned around the brave soldier who helped him had fallen to the ground dripping blood from his neck. Shang kneeled next to him and applied pressure on the wound. Shang ripped a piece of cloth from his sleeve and wrapped it around the man's wound. The soldier was choking. "Stay with me!" Shang commanded. But the man lost consciousness. Another barbarian attempted to hurt the General, but he quickly sank the blade of his sword through the barbarian's hip. Shang turned to his soldier again, and checked his pulse. The man was dead. Shang got on his feet he could feel the rage burning inside him. 

Mulan fell on her back completely disarmed. She rolled so that her attacker would not hurt her. Again the muscular barbarian lunged toward her. Her reflexes were quick and she docked. She picked up a bamboo sleeping mat and used it as a shield. It served her well for a few seconds until the Hun tore it in half with his sword. Just when she had ran out of ideas, she saw Shang riding his horse towards them. In a swift motion of his sword he beheaded the barbarian. In all the time she had known Li Shang, never had she seen his eyes burning with anger. Shang dismounted his horse and wiped the blood from his face. In a blink of an eye, the rage in his eyes faded giving way to a cold look she was familiar with.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

Mulan hugged him without an answer. She squeezed his body against her own. It felt different than other times she had sought for his embrace. He could tell she was scared. Shang pulled away and gently searched for wounds in her body. She had several scratches. He would not allow them to hurt her any more.

"Get your horse and leave Mulan," he said.

Mulan shook her head. "I'm staying. There are many wounded people."

"This is not a request Mulan!" his voice raised. "I am ordering you to leave immediately."

Mulan narrowed her eyes at him. How dare he? She turned her back on him and walked away from him. Shang followed her and gripped her right arm. She turned to face him and slapped his face. But he did not loosen the grip, instead he tightened it. Mulan fought to set herself free. "Get out of here!" he commanded once again. "I am your commanding officer and you do as I tell you without questioning my authority." Mulan pulled away from him, until he finally let her go. Once she was free, she ran away from him.

None of them had noticed that the other troops had arrived. They helped them vanquish the rest of the Huns.

The battle came to an end. Suddenly there was silence. The sun had barely risen.

Author's Note: I would sincerely appreciate your comments. 


	6. Choices

Lodge and Liquor

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE**__: Thanks to popular demand, the sixth chapter is up. I would like to thank my reviewers (Hannah, Princess Sophie Potter, Broadwaybabe) and my readers. You guys are like the feel that keeps me going )_

**Choices**

The rest of that dreadful day, the troops took care of burying the soldiers who had willingly given their lives for they country, as an addition to tending and carrying those who had been wounded. Li Shang remained on his knees beside the man who had saved his life. It had not been the first time a man had died for him; however, the young general could still feel the same unbearable guilt he had felt long ago. Before this day, Shang did not know the name of this great man, nor did he wonder how his personal life was, or if he had children and a wife who longed for his return. Shang buried a hole with his own sword. Slowly he placed the corpse of his savior on its final resting place and noticed the man's neck had a golden chain with a tiger charm. Shang pulled the chain until it broke. He examined the charm carefully and as he turned it over he read two characters engraved on it : _Tian Chuang _(Skylight). Was it the soldier's name? Or, had it belonged to the man's lover, daughter, or best friend? Shang decided he would keep the necklace, with the purpose of delivering to the soldier's relatives. Li Shang covered the hole as he silently sent a prayer to the gods. When he finished, he used his sword to trace upon the land the characters that stood for savior. The General got back on his feet and whispered, "Thank you, honorable warrior." War was crude and unfair. Moments like this made it hard to perceive the sense of honor and glory in the battlefield. ." He turned around, his gaze seeking for his beloved Mulan.

Shang spotted her, helping a wounded man walk. He stared at her from a distance, such a kind-hearted warrior she was, loyal, and brave. He felt like the biggest idiot for yelling at her, when she did not deserve it. The young General approached her. When he reached her, she shot him one of the coldest looks she had ever given him. Shang offered her help, but she refused. He apologized and offered her help again, and she said no.

Li Shang admitted she had all the right to be upset with him, but he had to let her know that what he had done had a reason. Resigned, Shang turned around to help the other wounded soldiers. More than once, his eyes followed Mulan and he noticed she clutched the arm he had violently gripped.

Night fell. The General's instructions had been to spend the night at the nearest village in order to recover strength. They still had a long way to go, they still had to make sure the border was secure, and there was no track of the enemy left.

The soldiers found a place at the villages local lodge. Shang had a terrible headache from the pressure of the battle and sleepless nights. He decided that as soon as he got cleaned up, he would meet Mulan and beg for her forgiveness. No matter what it took, she was worth it.

Li Shang ordered a tub and some wine to his room. Moments later, a lady arrived to his room and gave him what he had ordered. Shang waited for her to leave, and locked the door behind him. He sighed as he took off his armor and noticed his robes and trousers were stained with blood. Shang undid his sash, and the tiger charm landed on the wooden floor. He stripped from his garments and dove into the water. It felt pleasant, although his mind was troubled by thoughts of the men he had seen fall that day, and the way he had treated Mulan. His head was pounding. He reached for the bottle of rice wine and poured some on his wounds to disinfect them. Shang groaned as he felt the stinging sensation on his bare skin. And then he saw her beautiful eyes staring coldly back at him, followed by the man he had beheaded, and the man whose chain he carried. His head was pounding even harder. The blood and dirt were washed away, but the guilt and strain had not yet subsided. Indeed water cleansed his body, but what he needed was to cleanse his soul. Shang opened his eyes and gazed at the bottle of wine, maybe it could make his pain go away for a while.

Dripping water, Shang climbed out of the tub and lied on the bed clutching the bottle in his hand. He raised the bottle, and quickly swallowed the bitter liquid. He did not stop until there was not a single drop in the bottle. Shang covered himself with the silk sheets on the bed, and dozed off to sleep. Mulan would understand he needed to rest, and they could always talk the next day. . .

Shang tripped and gasped for some air. He had been chasing after Mulan for a while and he could not reach her. She was swift for a tiny lady with short legs. What was the point of running anyway?

All of a sudden, he heard a piercing scream from a distance. Shang stood up, calling out Mulan's name, but he got no answer. He yelled louder, and still there was no response. It was not funny anymore, and it had become ridiculous. Truth be told, she would win the argument, but she had to listen first. Shang ceased calling out for her, but he continued running. The ground was no longer green, it had turned out red, and every step he took blood splashed beneath him. Higher than he had ever screamed his mouth uttered Mulan's name. Once again he fell down, but this time he was soaked in the red blood. There it was the tiny slippers Mulan wore. Not far from them, he saw her on the ground covered in blood. It could not be. She was completely lifeless before his eyes, and he could not understand the cause of her death. He kneeled next to her and clutched her lifeless body against himself. Tears poured out of his eyes, and he begged the gods to bring her back to life. She could not be gone when there was so much ahead for them to live, she could not be dead and not know how sorry he felt for the way he had treated her in the battlefield. He cried and yelled angrily. Without Mulan, there was nothing to live for.

A distant voice commanded him to let her go. Naturally, Shang refused. The voice blamed him for her death, but Shang could not understand the reason. The voice reminded him all the harm he had done to her ever since the first day she had gone to Wu Zhong and he had humiliated her in front of all the present soldiers. Shang shook his head, he would never hurt her on purpose. He claimed he loved her, but the voice said it was all a lie. Shang shook his head. The voice said, "If you ever loved her you should have let her go before hurting her more." Suddenly, Mulan's father appeared in front of him and snatched his daughter's body away from him. Shang apologized but he did not listen. The elder man blamed him and called him a traitor. "How could I ever let you go near her?"

Shang covered his ears. The man was wrong. He never meant to hurt her, every single offense against Mulan had been a mere misunderstanding. "Mulan!! I love you! I'm sorry!" the young general yelled at the top of his lungs as he pulled his hair in anger. He cried helplessly and sank in the blood.

The sun rays peeked through the window. Slowly Shang opened his left eye, but the light was too strong. He rubbed his eyes, and saw a petite shadow standing next to the window, giving its back to him. She was alive. Shang sighed in relief. It all had been a nightmare. He contemplated her back for a while, his eyes crawling from her feet to her straight black hair falling on her shoulders. She was wearing her father's training robes, but his eyes could certainly trace the curves only women can show. A smile spread across his features, but then it vanished as she turned around to face him with a concerned look upon her face. Was she still angry at him? Mulan turned her gaze away from him and picked up a pile of clothes and dropped them on his bed. They were his robes and trousers . . . he had forgotten he had fallen asleep completely naked. He wondered if they actually consummated their marriage, but if it had been the case, he would certainly remember . . . unless he had consumed too much alcohol to remember. Then he solved the puzzle. It could not have been, for Mulan had snapped at him, because he had sent her home, and for the look on her face she was still angry at him. Actually, she was even more upset at him.

"What the hell is going on with you?" she had finally decided to speak up.

"Huh?" was all his confusion allowed him to utter, "I'll get dressed."

Mulan shook her head as she bit her lower lip.

"Mulan, are you ok?"

Her eyes narrowed at the question, and her right fist clenched. "How dare you ask me?"

A tear rolled down her cheek.

Shang wrapped the blanket around his waist and reached out for her, but she backed away and threw the golden necklace Shang had taken from the dead soldier on the floor.

Well, now his guess was that she had misunderstood the reason why that necklace with a tiger charm and inscriptions that were very likely to be the name of a woman was in his possession.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Li Shang?" she demanded in a broken voice.

"Of course not, Mulan," he began, "this is all very silly, let me explain you."

"Why don't you explain it to your tramp!" She turned around and let the door closed behind her.

Quickly, Shang reached for his clothes and put them. He couldn't just storm out of the room with a single blanket hanging from his waist, for Mulan's sake. Barefoot he stormed out of the room and ran as fast as he could. By then Mulan was already out of sight, so he asked every single person he found on his way where his beloved had gone.

She was inside a stable preparing her horse to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked, although somehow he knew this was not the right question.

"Home," Mulan snapped, "Isn't it where you want me to be? Isn't it the place I am supposed to be?" Whereas she had her motives to be upset with him, truth be told, she was getting carried away with the stubbornness. She fixed the saddle on Khan's back. Shang reached out for her hand, but she snatched it away from him.

"Mulan, that necklace, it's not what you're thinking!"

"Tell me what the hell am I supposed to be thinking when I knock at your door and I find you without clothes lying beside an empty bottle of wine, and a stupid necklace on the floor?!"

"Seriously, Mulan," Shang explained up and his tone remained gentle, " That necklace belongs to a man that died in the battlefield, I took it away from him so I could give it to his family." Mulan's expression softened as he continued. "It is completely harmless, I assure you, I wouldn't dare break our promise."

Mulan sighed. Shang was really not the kind of man who would throw away his reputation or taint his honor just to feast on the flesh of a woman. Then again, neither had she expected him to see so much anger in him, nor to find him completely knocked out lying on a bed as a result of a drink. What did that bottle have anyway? It had been strong enough to keep him unconscious for two whole days.

Lieutenant Shui stormed into the stable holding a scroll in his hands.

"General Li, I have been notified that we should expect more Huns," the lieutenant went on, "rumor has it that the Wall in completely unguarded."

Shang nodded, "We must move at once, there is no time to lose."

"Should we ask for reinforcement from the other provinces?"

"Certainly, we can never be too prepared." Shang continued and it was as if Mulan had never been there, "We have around nine hundred men. I guess we can deal half and half, lieutenant."

Lieutenant Shui assented without complaints.

"I suggest you take the Eastern route. My men and I shall advance through the western route. We shall meet in the course of a week."

"I'll call out for our troops to assemble," Shui Yìng offered and headed out of the stable, leaving Mulan and Shang alone.

Li Shang turned to Mulan, before he could say anything she claimed, "I'm going with Lieutenant Shui."

Shang felt the psychological blow immediately. Clearly, there was not time to waste in arguments, however; he needed to make sure Mulan would be fine, and that could be hard if she went with the other troop. "Listen, Mulan, what happened the other day, I am sorry. I never meant to get too carried out."

"But you did"

"And I regret it."

"Fine," Mulan said, "Shang I have been thinking, and I think it would be best if we part ways." Too much could be interpreted from her words. Shang was getting tired of her insistence on holding on to the argument. Anyways, there would be plenty of time for them to talk once the war would be over. For now, he decided that he would grant her the freedom to fight alongside with whom she chose; despite the fact it crushed him on the inside that it was not him. She barely knew Shui Yìng, but he knew she was doing this to avoid him. If she wanted time to cool off he was willing to give her space. Shang knew he had done wrong sending her home, but he would make it up to her soon.

"Mulan, have you forgotten the promise?"

"No," she said simply as she climbed to her horse's back. "That is what tears me apart." She softly pressed her heels on Khan's barrel and walked him out of the stable. Their conversation left unfinished. Contrary to what she admitted, Mulan had deeply loved and admired Li Shang for his strengths. She had idealized him many times before, and when he revealed his human flaws he made her feel disappointed. Her feelings for him had not changed at all, but ever since the battle she had pondered the thought that maybe it would not be the best choice if they got married. Deep down Mulan knew Li Shang was not perfect, but she was aware he was an honorable and righteous man, and she wondered if his stability was threatened by her presence. On the other hand, the bruise Shang's grip on her arm did not cause her physical pain at all, yet it was a reminder of a side of him she would rather not see. She had to understand that Shang had been raised to become a military man; it was only natural for him to react that way and specially within the battlefield.

_Author's Note:_ Hopefully, the next chapter will be up for the weekend. Oh, and by the way, I talked to my friend Qi Feng and she said she would update her fanfic (Fate).

Feel free to leave a comment )


	7. The Crack on the Wall

It took a twelve days journey until they reached the Great Wall

**Author's Note:** I would really like to thank Broadwaybabe who has been reviewing this story since chapter 3, I am really grateful with your encouragement. Thanks Qi Feng (for uploading your great story and for having time to read mine), CluelessAngel (for the nice reviews and for notifying me the mistake on the previous chapter), and last but not least Grace Potter Evans (for being a great friend).

I haven't been able to write much these days, I had some midterm essays and exams so my inspiration switch kinda goes off because all the work I have to do. You know how it is nowadays; I have to uphold my family's honor by getting good grades. _**Nevertheless**_, this story will be written until the very end. I promise ) and I'm good at sticking to promises.

**The Crack on the Wall**

Li Shang's mood was dreadful without Mulan. Somehow he lost his patience more easily than usual, and his orders were conveyed more harshly. He was worried about Mulan's whereabouts, for they had always fought together; therefore, he had the chance to keep a close eye on her, and in case her life was in peril he would certainly interfere. The heavens knew he was more afraid to lose her than death itself.

It took a twelve-day journey until they reached the Great Wall. Mulan had traveled along with lieutenant Shui and her friends Yao, Ling, and Chien Po. Being apart from Shang, made Mulan realize how much she missed him. She had already forgiven him and certainly believed his explanation about the tiger charm necklace. Indeed, Lieutenant Shui was a good leader, but he was less permissive than Shang. She could not believe there was actually someone stricter than her husband.

There had been no track of Huns on their way to the Great Wall; nevertheless, it was important for them to ensure there were no irregularities going on in the northern border. The cold wind blew on their faces as they made their way up the hills.

Mulan had hoped Shang and his troops would arrive there first, but there was no sight of them.

Chien Po was a very sensitive man, and he could perceive Mulan's uneasiness.

"He will be here soon," assured her friend.

Mulan sighed.

"It's just that the last few days we have been arguing a lot and I wonder if we are going to work."

"Of course you will, as long as you both want to be together," Chien Po went on, "However, both of you need to cooperate, you need to be open to listen to each other and support each other in times of trouble."

Mulan nodded.

"You need to understand he is a military man, and he's been through a very tough life," Chien Po advised, "and he has way too many responsibilities."

"I know and I understand. It's just that I don't know how I should I help him deal with all his issues, I try but sometimes he just doesn't let me in."

"Maybe it's because he's trying to protect you from his own demons."

"But I don't want to be protected, I want to be useful, and sometimes I think it was easier to be Ping because he would let me fight, and now he's too worried about everything."

"Mulan, it's only natural for him to behave that way, he loves you."

"But if he loves me, he needs to acknowledge the fact that I can take care of myself, and I hate myself for getting angry at him because anything could happen now, and the last time we talked I was still so upset about him sending me home, adding the fact that he knocked himself unconscious for two days, and a stupid necklace I thought belonged to a lady."

"You two need to sit down and talk, be honest to each other and you'll see how everything will change eventually"

"I guess you're right Chien Po, unfortunately that should be postponed until the war is over. I'm getting tired of the war."

When they reached the top, they met with the guards who told them about the attack that occurred some weeks ago. One of the guards affirmed that the Huns had not split, however they were expecting more of them to attempt the invasion soon. As the guards spoke Mulan looked to the other side of the wall. Everything was calm, and there was no hint of a threat, but she knew they would come when they least expected.

Three days later, General Li Shang and his soldiers arrived safely bearing more ammunition. Mulan contained her desire to greet him with an embrace because she knew it would be inappropriate and especially in front of the other soldiers. She decided perhaps it would be wiser if they kept their distance when they found themselves in these situations: he was the commanding officer and she was his soldier. She wanted no special treatment just because she was his wife.

The General, the lieutenant and the guards held a meeting in order to discuss the strategies they could follow. They concluded that the Great Wall needed more reinforcement; therefore, they would need to train more guards.

"They're back!" Ling announced as hundreds of Huns assembled in the distant horizon.

"Take your positions!" commanded Li Shang.

"How do they even manage to be so many?" exclaimed Shui.

The Chinese soldiers aimed their cannons towards the advancing Mongols, and soon the explosions began.

They had the advantage over the Huns because this time they were prepared, and the cannons served them well. There was no need to resort to arrows or swords, for they had enough cannons. Gun powder filled the air, and the eyes of the soldiers and their enemies began to turn red.

Suddenly, there was a cannon aimed in the direction of the Great Wall. The Chinese soldiers immediately ran in opposite sides to prevent from being hit by the cannon, and then the wall cracked open where it was hit.

As Mulan was running she tripped and rolled over all the way until the edge of the crack. She clung for her dear life on the verge of falling, and suddenly there were arrows shoot in her direction.

Shang watched in horror from the other side of opposite end of the crack. Quickly he took off his red cloak and tore it with his sword. He tied a knot to join both ends of his torn cloth.

"Hold this" the general commanded to the nearest soldier.

"Sir, you could get wounded."

"I'm not asking you, just hold this!"

The soldier obeyed Li Shang's command.

The General hung two meters from the ground and let himself fall. He landed on the hard ground and crawled towards Mulan. In the meantime a dozen arrows attempted to hit him.

"Let go Mulan, I'll catch you."

He caught her by the armpits, but an arrow hit him on his back where armor did not protect him. Shang sank to his knees in pain and let go off Mulan.

"Shang!" she cried.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," he said.

Mulan attempted to remove the arrow from her beloved, but Shang told her they had to move on somewhere safe. "There's no time Mulan, we need to get out of here first."

The Chinese soldiers sent more cannons in the direction of the Huns.

Mulan and Shang began to crawl down the cliff to the side of their county.

He cursed because of the pain the arrow on his back.

Mulan turned to him concerned.

"I'll be fine," he assured.

The firing of the cannons ceased followed by the cheers and curses of the Chinese troops. They had won the battle.

Soon soldiers approached the General and Mulan.

"Sir, we'll fetch the medic for you," Yao declared.

"I'll get the arrow out," lieutenant Shui offered.

Shang groaned in pain as the lieutenant pulled the arrow out of him and his blood poured out of the wound. Lieutenant Shui applied pressure on him, to block the bleeding.

Mulan kneeled next to Shang, and he held her hand and squeezed it.

"Shang, I'm sorry. This all my fault."

Shang shook his head weakly. "You know I love you, Mulan."

Mulan could feel her eyes beginning to water. "Shang, don't you dare," she replied.

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me"

"We are going to get through this," she said through her tears, "you are General Li Shang, the strongest, bravest man I've ever known, and we will go to the Imperial City and celebrate our victory over the Huns, and you and I are going to get married and . . ."

She felt the grip of his hand loosen; the loss of blood had made him unconscious.

"Stay with me Li Shang," Mulan commanded softly. Horrible thoughts tormented her mind. This could not be the end; it was barely the beginning for them.

Chien Po approached Mulan to console her. "He's strong and healthy, he will recover."

Mulan helplessly broke into sobs as her friend embraced her.

So how is it going? Please R&R

I've got good ideas saved for the next chapter…just pray I don't have homework for the weekend.


	8. A Warrior's Life

Li Shang's unconscious body lied inside the rickshaw were the cannons usually were carried

_**Author's Note: **__Sorry for the delay, I had final projects and essays to hand in, which somehow scared away my inspiration. Anyways I'm back. Once again I want to thank you for taking time to read my story and posting your reviews. _

_Oh, just a reminder, I know that the last chapter was kinda crazy because Shang called Mulan his wife and then she said that she would marry him. Remember Chapter 4? When Mulan and Shang married each other before in Mulan's Ancestors' Shrine? Nevertheless, they agreed they would also have the official wedding according to tradition. ) That's why she says that when he wakes up they will get married. _

_Ok, here is the last Chapter of the first part of The Struggle of Yin and Yang._

**A Warrior's Life**

Li Shang's unconscious body lied inside the rickshaw were the cannons usually were carried. On the journey back to the Imperial City, Mulan silently prayed he would recover his health. Her friends insisted on cheering her up, but she could not let go from her present worries. She deeply regretted the late arguments, and it was until then that she finally understood the reason why Shang rushed their marriage. He was a General, and his life was bound to be risked, and it would always be the same. She would always have the fear of losing him in the same way he had lost his father. Moments later, Mulan tortured herself with the thought of could have been. She wondered if she had remained home assuming her conventionally established role as a woman, then maybe Shang's life wouldn't be in the verge of extinction. '_If it wouldn't have been for me, he wouldn't have risked his life to save mine,' _she thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a groan coming from inside the rickshaw.

The soldiers ceased their march, and the medic examined the young general's health. He had caught a fever, and as a result he was deliriously calling out for Mulan. She wanted to be by his side, but the medic claimed it would be best if she let him continue sleeping.

"Will he live through this?" inquired Mulan.

"I already gave him some herbs for the fever," replied the doctor, "the bleeding on his back has stopped, but he will be in constant observation for internal damage."

"Internal damage?" Mulan repeated, "Where?"

"The arrow was close to his kidneys," the medic explained, "however, the ceasing of his bleeding might be a good sign. He is delirious for the herbs and the fever."

"I need to talk to him."

"He needs to focus his energy on his recovery," insisted the doctor annoyed by Mulan's stubbornness, "besides his head is not clear enough to talk."

But Mulan needed to be with him, and see for herself how Shang was. She walked past the medic and made her way inside the rickshaw.

There laid Shang. His skin was drenched with sweat from the fever.

"Mulan?" he called out groggily.

"I'm here," she announced as she knelt next to him and stroked his head gently.

Shang closed his eyes and dozed off to sleep. He did not hear when Mulan thanked him for saving her life.

Two days passed. General Li Shang's health began to stabilize. The medic declared he was allowed to walk short distances, and instructed him to continue taking the medicinal herbs to heal his wound.

As they made their way to the Imperial City, they stopped for a night's rest in a small village. The place was peaceful. Children were chasing each other around in the front yards, and the street vendors were selling their goods. It was as if there had been no war at all, and somehow these ordinary situations relieved the soldiers from what they had experienced the previous days.

But the sudden relief was banished when one of the soldiers announced that this was one of the deceased soldier's hometown, whose name was Ho Cheung.

"We should notify his relatives about his death," added Lieutenant Shui solemnly. "You knew him?"

"We met when we joined the Imperial Army. He was an honorable man. He gave his life to save our General."

When these words reached Shang's ears, he could not help feeling guilty for this man's death. Indeed he was grateful, but it was inevitable to feel responsible for his death. Mulan sensed he was feeling troubled, and she did not know how to soothe him. So she simply reached for his hand and squeezed it as a sign that she was there for him.

"I will pay my respects to Ho Cheung's family, and return this necklace."

Mulan nodded.

It was before sunset when Shang, Mulan, and Lieutenant Shui stood before Ho Cheung's modest home. Shang took the lead and knocked on the door. A few moments later a plump yet beautiful lady revealed herself from behind the wooden door. She silently bowed her head to salute them.

"Is this Ho Cheung's home?" Shang began politely.

The woman nodded. Her almond shaped eyes revealed her fear. It was not common for officers to visit their recruits' families. She gestured them to come inside, and her current condition became evident for the three of them. She was expecting a child.

Mulan bit her lower lip, feeling compassion for the lady.

"I am afraid we bear bad tidings," Shang began. He was not used to deliver this type of news, and seeing the pregnant lady was not making it any easier on him.

"I understand," said the lady fighting to remain composed, but soon tears rolled down her eyes, and she wiped them away.

"Your husband was one of the most loyal soldiers China has seen," Lieutenant Shui assured, "I'm sure the gods will repay his loyalty." The lieutenant handed the lady the sword that once belonged to Ho Cheung.

The lady took the sword in her hands. "May he rest in peace," she whispered, "he always said he wanted to honor and protect his country."

Shang reached for the golden necklace and gave it to the lady. She thanked the young general and hung it on her neck.

"Is there anything we can do for you?" Shang offered.

"Thank you, General," the lady replied, "it has been a terrible loss, but my husband had prepared me for this moment, and you have done what you needed to do."

Shang nodded, and got on his feet. "If you ever find yourself in need, please remember that I will forever be in debt with your family."

"Thank you, General."

Mulan and the Lieutenant followed Shang.

Night fell. Most of the soldiers gathered at the local taverns to drink their troubles away. After the visit to Ho Cheung's home, Mulan noticed that Shang had been distant and she knew perfectly he was blaming himself for Ho Cheung's death. She wanted to let him know she was there to support him, but it seemed as if he was avoiding her. For the first time in those weeks she felt her body demanding her to rest, so she decided she would give Shang some space and she would allow herself to sleep.

Mulan lied on the sleeping mat. She was about to blow out the candle, when she saw Shang's shadow exiting the room next to hers through the rice paper walls. A few steps later he entered her room. Bearing his weary soul he stood before Mulan silently.

"How's your back?" she broke the silence.

"Better now, but I still can't sleep on it."

"Shang, I'm deeply sorry," Mulan apologized, "it's my fault this happened to you."

He took a seat on the floor next to her and reached for her hand without pronouncing a word.

"I promise I will leave the army if that is what you wish me to do."

"Nonsense, it has been an honor to fight alongside you. You have always been an extraordinary soldier," Shang went on "_reckless_. . . but extraordinary."

His words brought a smile upon Mulan's features as she recalled those training days at Wu Zhong and their silly quarrels.

Once again, Shang's features turned serious as the image of Ho Cheung's wife . "Forgive me, Mulan. I was blinded by my selfishness and I neglected the reality I was dragging you into."

Mulan turned to him confused.

"My lifestyle," he explained, "no matter what I do my life will always be at risk, and it can be too much of a burden for a wife. It was for my mother, and it is for my stepmother. And I wish it wouldn't be for you, so maybe I should back away."

"Don't be a fool," Mulan replied, "I don't care how hard it gets. I love you, and I will always love you."

"But Mulan," Shang protested, "I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to go through what Ho Cheung's wife is going through. Maybe you will be better off with another. . ."

"Don't you dare say it, Li Shang," she cut him off, "I believe in us. And if it is possible for a country girl to defeat Shan Yu, then certainly we can weather future storms together. I know it's not going to be easy, but it's not impossible either."

"I don't want you to be miserable."

"Miserable? Misery would be surrendering. Hey, it's always about fighting for what you believe in." As she pronounced these words her eyes were looking into Shang. He could see the spark in them induced by the strength of her love for him, and he realized her love was deep, deeper than he had ever expected, deeper than he had ever felt.

"Mulan," Shang went on, "sometimes I fear I don't have as much spiritual strength as you do, and I fear that could be an issue in the future." He sighed as Mulan squeezed his hand affectionately. "But, perhaps you could train me like I trained you to become a warrior."

And for the first time in days of distance, Shang embraced Mulan, and breathed in the scent of her dark hair. Suddenly all his grief ceased to exist, and he was there holding on to his beloved Mulan. He was thankful she was there with him completely unharmed by the war and willing to love, and he was also thankful for the opportunity the gods had given him to live.

_**END OF PART ONE**_

_**Author's Note: **__So what do you think? Please let me know. The story will continue, and I will also make some minor corrections on the previous chapters. Well thanks for waiting and for reading. Reviews will be really appreciated ) And I hope to have next chapter pretty soon._


	9. Tradition

Tradition

**Tradition**

Once reports had been delivered to the Imperial City, the Li and the Fa families rescheduled the wedding ceremony two weeks after the battle at the Great Wall.

The betrothal ceremony took place one week before the wedding. Shang arrived at the Fa Estate accompanied by his stepmother Chan Juan and his seven-year-old brother An-Shing. Custom required that Shang should provide the Fa family with gifts in order to seal their engagement, and so he gave them a sword that once belonged to his grandfather, precious gold and jade jewelry, a weighty and healthy cow, a rooster and a couple of hens. The Fa family gratefully accepted the gifts, and shared a meal with the members of the Li family.

Unlike Shang, An-Shing was outgoing and a bit of a prankster. It did not take him long to get acquainted with the Fa family, and began calling Mulan elder sister. It was actually thanks to An-Shing that the evening's solemnity was broken because he decided it would be fun to chase around the chicks, which ended up in the dining room jumping on the table. Mulan could not help finding the situation hilarious and laughed, while her parents excused the boy for being a child. However, little An-Shing did not escape his mother's chiding and Shang's sermon about discipline.

A week went by awfully soon with the preparations for the wedding. Mulan found herself in her bedroom for the last time as her mother and grandmother helped her get dressed in a red gown of fine silk, which had been a gift from the Emperor. Mulan looked at her reflection in the mirror as the hairdresser tied up her dark hair in an elegant bun. After several painful pulls of her dark locks, the hairdo was finished, and Fa Li placed some beads strings and the lotus blossom as a final touch. Then her face was covered with white powder, red lips and eyes marked. Finally her face was hidden behind a red silk veil.

Once she was ready Mulan visited her family shrine and prayed her ancestors everything would turn out well in her marriage. She finished her prayers and raised her eyes to meet the metallic representation of a dragon and smiled to herself as she recalled all the adventures they went through. But her smile faded when she wondered if she would ever see him again, now that she would become a member of the Li Family. "Mushu, I wish you were here," she whispered gently hoping it would have an effect on her dear guardian. But the dragon figure remained in the same position. Disappointed, Mulan got on her feet and walked to her parents and grandmother who waited down the stairs that lead to the shrine.

"My beautiful daughter, you have grown up too soon," said Fa Li through her tears.

"Mama, please don't cry. I promise I will visit you regularly. You know how Shang likes to come here."

"Don't listen to me. You'll understand when you are a mother," said Fa Li. Mulan nodded but her eyes went wide open.

_Motherhood,_ it was too soon to think about it. She simply embraced her mother.

When they pulled away, Fa Zhou approached his only daughter. "Mulan, you have honored this family beyond what is expected, and I am proud and grateful for all you have done, you are my greatest treasure. I hope General Li Shang provides you with the happiness you deserve."

Mulan wrapped her arms around her father's neck and he hugged her back. "Thank you, Baba." This time, she could no longer hold back her emotions, and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I'd hate to break this father-daughter moment," interrupted the eldest lady, "but the rickshaw is already outside and you are ruining your make up. Thank god I'm carrying the powder with me."

"She does not need all that make up," said Fa Zhou, "she's already beautiful without it."

Mulan smiled at her father's words and breathed in to avoid more tears from falling.

"Come here child," Granny Fa said as she pulled Mulan's arm and began powdering Mulan's face.

"Thanks Granny," Mulan bent to hug her grandmother.

The elder lady hugged her back and whispered into her ear, "Now listen carefully, the key to a good marriage is creativity in the bedroom. You need to come up with new ideas to keep your man interested."

Mulan's features produced a grimace. First her mother, now her grandmother reminded her about that night's fate.

In the front entrance to the Fa estate was the rickshaw that would carry Mulan to her groom. With a final glance at the home she had lived in all of her short life, Mulan climbed up and entered the rickshaw.

It was a long journey from Mulan's hometown to the outskirts of the Imperial City, where the Li estate was settled. It was already noon and there was still a long way ahead.

"Bored?" asked a voice, "or just having second thoughts about getting hitched?"

Mulan lifted the red veil from her face to have a better view. She smiled at the tiny dragon, and he smiled back at her.

"Heard you missed me, babe."

"Mushu, where in the world have you been? I thought I was never going to see you again."

"Well you know that saving China and protecting you can be pretty exhausting, so I decided I'd take a break, so I went to Hawaii."

"What are you talking about?" asked Mulan confused.

"It's a pretty island, but those volcanoes are pretty nasty. . ."

"Mushu I'm glad you could make it to my wedding."

"Oh, yeah I forgot today the spotlight's all for you babe. Anyways, so you ended up with Mr. McMoody after all."

"McMoody," Mulan said through a fit of laughter, "that was a good one."

"But, seriously I always knew you two would end up together." Mushu produced a tissue out of thin air and blew his nose. "But then you are going to forget about me, now that you have those muscles to protect you."

"Mushu, of course I will never forget you. You are my best friend."

The tiny dragon hopped on Mulan's shoulder and embraced you. "Just like in the old times, you and me until the end." Then he pulled away. "And if McMoody gives you any trouble he will have to pay the consequences with me."

Mulan could not help but to chuckle.

"Are you laughing at me, missy?" Mushu began, "It won't be funny when McMoody finds it hard sitting down."

Mulan raised her brow in confusion.

"Or maybe I could just light up that tidy black hair of his. Babe, my flame's pretty nasty these days."

Mulan continued laughing herself to tears.

"I'm serious. I'll flame him 'til…"

"Ok, I believe you," Mulan cut him off, "I'll make sure I let you know if Shang's annoying me."

"And I'll run to your aid quicker than lightning."

Cri-kee emerged from under and chirped something that would be translated into "me too."

"Cri-kee, you're here!"

Mushu shook his head disapprovingly. "I told ya to remain hidden, or you're gonna end up all smashed up."

"It's all right. I need all the luck I can get. I hope I won't spill the tea during the ceremony."

"Ok, but tell the cricket not to be hopping around like crazy."

Cri-kee shook its head and chirped again in reply to Mushu.

"You insult me. I'm not gonna make a drama during the ceremony."

Mulan shook her head. Somehow she was relieved her friends would be by her side during the ceremony.

It was almost sunset when they reached Li Shang's home, which was lit by colorful lanterns all over. Fa Zhou helped Mulan get down from the rickshaw, and the whole family proceeded to the entrance of the Li estate.

Chan Juan received them at the entrance, and led them to the Li shrine where the ceremony would take place.

Despite Mulan's face was covered by the red veil, she could see there were more people than she had expected. She spotted her friends Yao, Ling and Chien Po, as well as some military officials accompanied by what Mulan assumed would be their wives, and some elder ladies. She knew all eyes were set on her. Amid the multitude of people, Mulan spotted Shang. He was wearing black robes embroided with golden dragons, pacing nervously in front of the elegant shrine. His face brightened up, when he recognized the figure walking towards him. Shang smiled for a few seconds, but soon his expression turned solemn.

As Mulan made her way up the stairs that led to the shrine she stepped on the hem of her dress and landed with her knees on the steps. Several gasps were heard, and Shang went down to help her up.

"It's all right," Mulan explained nervously, "it's just that the dress is too long for me."

A grin spread across Shang's features.

Mulan dusted her dress and continued her way up the stairs.

Chang Juan, a man, and two females awaited inside the Li shrine. A table was set with a teapot and seven cups. Mulan panicked for a moment, she was hoping there would be less people present, and less cups to serve tea in. She inhaled and exhaled, this could not be more difficult than defeating Shan Yu. She took her place on the table and began pouring tea in the first cup. She was aware that her hand was shaking, but she managed to fill the seven cups successfully.

When the tea ceremony ended, the bride, the groom, and the guests proceeded with the banquet. During the banquet, Shang introduced Mulan to his father's sisters. Auntie Ming and Auntie Yue surveyed Mulan carefully.

"She's a pretty one," commented auntie Yue, "I have to admit I was afraid you had picked a muscular and taller woman."

"Shang son, you have a fine taste in women," Ming said, "however, I'm gonna make sure Chan Yuan feeds you well. Those hips need to get a little bit wider when you two get down to business and start having kids."

"Oh, I bet they'd look gorgeous," added Yue.

Mulan nodded politely. Then she turned to Shang who happened to be chuckling softly. When the two ladies left them, Mulan hit Shang on the ribs with her elbow, and he stopped laughing.

"You know, it's not funny," she said through gritted teeth.

Shang placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Be nice, soldier," he whispered.

A few seconds later, the couple was joined by Mulan's parents. They congratulated the newly weds, and reminded them that despite there would be hardships they had to stick together.

Mulan was listening to her parents' advice until she saw a small skinny red figure slithering like a snake with a bowl of dumplings on its back, and a cricket hopping close to it. She excused herself and caught up with Mushu as discretely as possible.

Shang was left alone with Mulan's parents. There was a moment of awkward silence, which was only natural given the fact that Mulan was Fa Zhou's only daughter, and Shang as refined and honorable man he was would be responsible for Mulan no longer living with them at the Fa home. Li Shang was aware of his father in law's current discomfort and thought it would be more polite to remain silent, before he could say something to increase the tension between them.

At last Fa Zhou broke the silence, placing a hand on Shang's shoulder. "General Li, I never thanked you for sparing my daughter's life."

Shang swallowed hard. This comment was definitely not helping him for his mind travelled to that day in the mountains when Ping's real identity was revealed and he raised the sword above her head, but did not kill her, because she had saved his life.

Finding no words to reply, Shang nodded miserably. He thought that perhaps if Mulan would have not saved his life he might have been merciless to her and . . . Involuntarily Shang shook his head trying to vanish the thought with the wonderful possibilities that a lifetime with Mulan implied.

"And I want to ask you to please take care of her," added the elder man, "I know she is capable of many things but I want her to be safe and happy."

"I will, sir," affirmed Shang.

"And I know my daughter can be a handful at times, once she has something in her mind she holds on to it pretty hard. . . I guess she gets the stubbornness from me."

Shang emitted a hearty laugh. It was true. Mulan was stubborn, but he loved her for that. "She is without a doubt unique," said Shang.

"Please let her remain unique," said Fa Zhou. He had other things to say to the young man, but he decided best to finish when he saw his daughter approaching. "She deserves to be happy."

Shang turned to Mulan, whose veil was a bit wrinkled.

"So, where were you?" he asked.

"You know . . . doing bride stuff," answered Mulan, finding no better excuse to justify how she had gone to remind her guardian to behave if he wanted to remain in the ceremony.

The guests of both Li and Fa parties shared a delicious meal together in the dining room, and when everyone finished eating the continuation of the ceremony proceeded.

Shang lifted Mulan in his arms and carried her to their new chambers. The room was dimly lit with the dragon and phoenix candle and decorated with paper dragons. The bed was covered in red silk sheets and petals of different flowers all over. The rest of the people followed the couple. Shang's uncle handed in the couple two goblets with wine. Shang drank from the goblet Mulan was holding, and at the same time, Mulan drank from the goblet Shang was holding. Then, Shang's uncle tied a red ribbon to join the two cups. The present witnesses cheered for Mulan and Shang were now officially husband and wife.

After putting up with the traditional jokes and teasing, the newly weds found themselves alone together for the first time. Hesitant, Mulan sat on the edge of the bed. Unsure of how to proceed under the current circumstances, Shang began. "So, how was the journey here?"

"It was ok," she answered simply.

Shang took a seat next to Mulan. "You can take off the veil, your face is no longer a mystery to me my beautiful bride."

Mulan smiled at him, and removed the hairpin holding the veil.

They stared into each others eyes lovingly. Shang placed a hand on Mulan's face and stroked her cheek. Mulan inched closer to Shang and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Soon he did the same with her until the kiss became more intense and Shang carefully pushed Mulan on to the bed below him. For a moment they pulled away from each other to breathe. Mulan noticed Shang's face was now white with some of Mulan's face powder. She gently dusted it from his handsome face.

"What is it?" he inquired.

"You got my make-up all over you."

"Totally worth it," he replied nonchalantly.

A soft chuckle escaped from Mulan.

"You look so beautiful, my bride," said Shang.

"I'm a mess," Mulan teased, "you've got red lips General."

Shang bent down to kiss Mulan one more time. She welcomed his lips in hers and wrapped her arms around his neck. Gently, he slid his hands from her shoulders to her waist.

They lay next to each other for a moment holding hands, and he felt desire for her body so intense like he had never felt before. By now, most of Mulan's make up was off.

Shang kicked off his shoes, and offered to remove Mulan's slippers. He knelt on the floor before her small feet. She nodded in acceptance and he proceeded. As the slippers landed on the ground, Shang kissed Mulan's right foot, and she could feel a tingling sensation within her. Slowly he slid his hand from her ankle to her knee, sending the skirt of her dress up, and revealing the bruises she got from falling on the stairs of the shrine. Mulan pulled down the hem of her dress to cover the bruises, but Shang took her hands in his, and kissed the bruises below her knees.

"I was supposed to be graceful" Mulan excused herself. "I practiced at home, but somehow I ended up. . ."

"You are perfect," Shang interrupted, "you are a soldier, you are allowed to stumble every now and then." Shang got on his feet and sat on the bed, "I request permission to undo your hair, it looks tight."

"Thank my ancestors; I thought I'd never get rid of this thing. It's giving me a headache."

Shang removed the lotus blossom hairpin, while Mulan removed the beads. Soon her straight dark hair fell on her shoulders.

"You know, I don't understand the deal with all the ornaments on your head," said Shang, "nor the reason why they conceal that beautiful face of yours behind the white mask. Or were you trying to deceive me?" He finished removing the leftover powder off her features with his hands.

"It's part of the spectacle."

Shang raised an amused brow. "Spectacle?"

Mulan nodded.

The young general knelt on the bed next to Mulan. He stroked her cheek, and kissed her forehead. Then he pulled the ribbon securing Mulan's sash until her dress was loose. She stared into his eyes, he smiled openly and her lips curved in a shy grin. Mulan undid Shang's sash as well.

"Now we are equal," she claimed.

Shang pulled the sleeves of Mulan's dress until her shoulders were uncovered, and he stopped for a moment and looked at her as if requesting for her permission to slide it lower. Mulan deliberately ignored his unspoken request, and removed Shang's robe completely. He let the robe fall free on the floor. Mulan placed her hands on his chest, and traced her biceps tenderly. Shang closed his eyes, enjoying her gentle hands on his warm skin.

He opened his eyes abruptly the moment Mulan's hands had travelled from his chest to his back to the wound the arrow had left him weeks earlier.

"Sorry, Shang," she apologized concerned, and backed away several inches.

The brief distance made him ache inside.

"I'm better now. It's healing."

He took Mulan's hand in his own and placed it in the middle of chest. She could feel his heartbeat. Shang encircled Mulan's waist with his arms and pulled the fabric on the back of her dress until her chest was uncovered. The young general bent his head to kiss Mulan's neck tenderly, while she gently massaged his back.

At last, he removed her dress completely. Mulan could feel the color rising in her cheeks. She embraced Shang to cover herself.

"It's alright, Mulan. It's me," he whispered tracing her lips with the tip of his index finger. He used his free hand to cup one of her breasts tenderly. And then, he went on kissing her neck.

Mulan whimpered softly. As it would have been expected, there was a certain level of anxiety due to her lack of experience, but she had grown fond of his soft caress and she did not want him to stop.

She slid her hands down his back, until they reached his lower back. Her hands lingered there for a while. Shang sighed and relaxed his body, and gently he told her not to stop.

He placed his hand under Mulan's chin to lift her face and kissed her mouth passionately one more time. In the meantime, he undid the belt securing his trousers until they fell free and undressed what was left of Mulan to undress.

They looked into each other's eyes intensely knowing this was their moment to cherish the bliss of the wedding night.

Still on a kneeling position, Mulan placed her arms around Shang's neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He stroked her dark locks, and whispered that he loved her. She planted a kiss on his shoulder as he caressed her back. Intrigued he slid his hand lower to her buttocks, making her quiver as a reaction to his touch. He covered her lips with his own and carefully pushed her body unto the bed. Her head landed on the pillow with his hand behind it. Without ceasing the kiss, he settled his body on top of hers.

_**AN: I apologize if the wedding ceremony is not accurate, I'm aware they're some variations depending on the region. Anyways, I tried to do the best I could. Hopefully you'll like it.**_

_**I know, lots of looking in the bedroom scene. Lol. xD**_

_**Thank you guys for waiting, for reading, and for your wonderful reviews.**_

_**Special thanks to chelle93, broadwaybabe, Grace Potter Evans, Canadarulz, feli3, Lynn and Clueless Angel for reviewing the previous chapter. I'm glad you like this story.**_

_**I shall continue next week.**_


	10. NoT Quite Yet

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

AFTER A LONG PERIOD OF ABSENCE I PRESENT YOU THE LATEST CHAPTER OF THE STRUGGLE OF YIN AND YANG…

Should I explain you why it took me so long? Read on if you're interested, if not you're welcome to skip to the story. I started writing it and planning it soon after the wedding chapter, but as some of you already know this is my last year of college and I have to hand in a lot of schoolwork, complete plenty of paperwork, and of course work on my hell of desertation project…and I mean hell 'cause it's really given me a headache (specially the teacher in charge of revision). Anyways, all these things leave very little time for me to write, and sometimes actually just scare away my inspiration. But I promised this story would continue and so it does here.

I AM ENTIRELY GRATEFUL FOR YOU STAYING TUNE WITH THE STORY.

**Not Quite Yet**

Chan Juan looked outside the window, and spotted her son sitting across Mulan and the Chinese checkers board between them. Both were quietly concentrated. Chan Juan sighed. After seven months of being married to Li Shang, this girl had not yet learned to behave like a proper lady nor a worthy wife to the General of the Imperial Army.

Eventually, Chan Juan's thoughts froze at hearing her son's claim for victory.

"An Shing, the food's ready!"

"But Mama," the boy protested, "Just one more game."

"No, come here immediately, "she ordered,, making sure she emphasized audibly for Mulan . "You have more important _duties."_

Pouting, An Shing got on his feet and made his way into the kitchen, followed by Mulan who had previously picked up the board and wooden coins of the game they had been playing.

The maid placed a bowl of rice and steamed vegetables before each of them on the table, while Mulan helped her pour the tea.

"Mama, I finally beat Mulan," said An Shing, his mouth full.

"Congratulations," said Chan Juan unenthusiastically.

Truth be told, Mulan was undefeatable at checkers, but this time, she had ignored some movements on purpose to let the boy win.

"Son, it's time that you go and practice your calligraphy," dove in Chan Juan staring down at An Shing's empty plate.

To the mother's dismay, the boy immediately turned to his now elder sister, "Say Mulan, you will help me right?"

Certainly, she wouldn't mind at all helping An Shing improve his skills with the brush and ink; however, Chan Juan's glare compromised her answer.

"I… I…," she began trying to come up with an excuse that would neither sound as if she were accusing his mother, nor as if she did not wish to aid him.

"What Mulan is trying to say, is that she has her own responsibilities to fulfill," Chan Juan dove in, "like washing your brother's uniform."

Mulan rolled her eyes. She did not need to be reminded of her chores, and least of all from Chan Juan, who seemed to know perfectly well what everyone else had to do, but did not do much herself; except for gossiping, criticizing, and offering her so called _advise_. It was not as if she were her mother, plus she was not even Shang's mother. Anyhow, she assumed her role as the head lady of the house quite well.

"But Mamma" An Shing insisted, "she can do that later. It's not as if Shang's gonna complain about not having his uniform clean, he's got plenty of robes."

"Yeah, the problem is they keep getting dirty and piling up, until he won't have any clean clothes to wear," Chan Juan remarked.

The boy finally gave up; thus, leaving the two women alone in the kitchen. He did not understand the reason why his mother was still so reluctant to accept Mulan as part of the family, from his perspective Mulan was a kind woman who had actually softened his older brother, adding the fact she was really fun to hang out with.

For a moment, non of the ladies spoke a word as they finished their meals; but as Mulan silently collected her dishes and got on her feet Chan Juan spoke up in a dramatic tone, "Am I the only person who assumes her duties in this house?"

Mulan did not know what nor how to answer. She had worked hard to become a better wife; somehow her clumsiness kept getting in the way, and Chan Juan never seemed to be pleased. She could care less about her opinion. After all, Shang had not married her for her housewife abilities. Although Mulan had grown tired of putting up with Chan Juan's constant chiding and criticism, she refused to cause any trouble; consequently, she replied as politely as she could… _most of the time_.

"One would think, that by now you'd stop spoiling my son and encourage him to study," seeing Mulan's lack of response, Chan Juan continued, "you know that the latest reports from the Academy say he's not performing to his highest potential being son of a general."

_Was that an accusation?_

"He has improved his martial arts," Mulan finally spoke up, "plus it takes a while to develop perfect calligraphy, I think…"

"How dare you!" exclaimed Chan Juan, "Stop trying to look smarter. You think you know more on how I should raise my own son! "

"He will become better, eventually," Mulan finished her sentence.

"He won't if you're playing with him all the time!"

"He's just a kid," the younger woman reasoned.

"You can't even bear your husband children yet!" Chan Juan exclaimed, "so don't you dare try telling me how I should raise my own son."

Mulan did not need to hear this. She had meant no harm, and now Chan Juan was practically insulting her. _What did she even care? _It was not as if her children would be her grandchildren. They had not even been married for that long, and they still needed to adjust. . . Seven months without conceiving did not necessarily imply she was barren.

Without a word , Mulan angrily left the kitchen to gather Shang's dirty laundry. Living with Chan Juan was the same as having a personal matchmaker at home.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Mulan's head landed hard on the pillow beneath, and instants later Shang gently let his head fall on her pounding chest. She smiled and stroked his dark straight hair with her fingers. He shut his eyes and allowed himself to rest from the strenuous physical activity they had been engaged in previously.

When Shang raised his head to lock eyes with his wife, she smiled before he pressed his lips softly upon her forehead, and then slowly slid down hers teasingly.

Soon after they pullled away, Shang took his place on the bed next to Mulan

"So, why was Chi Fu here?" Mulan asked casually.

Shang sighed, he really did not want to ruin the mood thinking about the annoying consul, but he knew better, not answering would probably be worse. "Appointed me for an audience with the emperor."

With the intention of diverting her from the topic, he gently caressed her back and nibbled on her shoulder; though she was pleased, he did not achieve what he originally intended.

"You think we should worry about another war?"

Shang parted his lips from her skin to answer.

"Nah, he probably wants to confirm himself there's nothing to worry about." He stretched out his arm gesturing Mulan to come closer. She placed her head on his arm and allowed him to wrap his other arm around her waist, the way they usually slept.

" Can I go with you?" she asked, slightly turning her neck to face him.

He simply smiled, "Chan Juan's being annoying again huh?"

"She never stopped. I'm serious Shang, one of these days…"

He cut her off with a kiss on her forehead.

"Tell her you're pregnant, " he suggested sliding his hand from her waist and settling it on her stomach, " 'cause I'm pretty sure we got it right this time. That'll shut her up"

She removed his hand immediately, and exclaimed his name, which only brought a cocky smile upon his face.

"But what if it worked this time?" the beaming in his eyes gave away his joy at the mere idea of them having children.

On the other hand, Mulan's body was less close to Shang's than it had been at the beginning of the conversation.

"I…" she stuttered thinking of a subtle way of saying she did not intend to get pregnant in the near future. It was not that she did not want to have his kids; it was just that she needed more time to adjust.

"Well, what's the big rush anyway? I mean kids…well they are such a huge responsibility."

The distance between them was now evident to Shang. She was now more closer to the other edge of the bed than she was to him.

"Mulan?" he called out bewildered, for she was, in fact, talking too fast. However, she did not stop nor did she notice how far she was from him physically.

"If we had one right now, I probably wouldn't be able to handle it," she went on regardless of him seizing her attention, "I mean Chan Juan says I don't fold your clothes properly, and my food tastes like …Shang!"

In a swift combination of movements Shang had rolled his way towards her, wrapped one arm around her waist bringing her closer to him once again.

"You are just so beautiful, Fa Mulan," he said as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

She raised her brow unimpressed grinning lopsidedly, "and you think that actually works?"

"Well," He began with a mischievous smirk, "it works for me, and I'm hoping it'll work for you."

"Just sleep, you have to leave early tomorrow." Mulan took her place next to him, and lead his arm to rest on her waist.

"Wife?"

"Yes Husband?" she answered, her eyes closed.

"It's not that I want to pressure you. You know how much I care for you."

"Ok."

He placed his hand on her head and ran his fingers through her dark straight long locks of hair. "It's just that I've been thinking that right now is the right time to become parents, now that China is at peace. You know how this state can so easily turn over, and well if something ever happens to me I… I don't want to leave you alone."

She opened her eyes, and turned herself around to face him. "What do you mean? You are not leaving me Shang, you understand?"

The young General sighed helplessly, he knew perfectly she would react this way. It was a situation he had his power on to control. Sooner or later, he would meet the same fate his father had faced to Shan Yu's merciless hands. Ever since he was a kid, Shang was well aware of the fact that soldiers perished in the battlefield, and it was an honorable deed he had always been expected to pursue.

"Mulan," he began looking into her eyes, which portrayed her honest fear of losing him, "You've been a soldier, you know the way it works for us. I am General, and my end could come any day."

"But Shang, you are brave, and strong," Mulan protested, "It does not have to be that way."

Tears were already welling up in her eyes. Deep down she knew he was right, but it was really frustrating to have him reminding it to her more than once. He was a soldier and an honorable man, there was no other alternative. It was simply inevitable.

Shang stroked her cheek softly, "I know, and believe me when I say that every single battle I fight, every war I win will be to keep you safe and unharmed. I have always known and accepted my destiny as a warrior." He grinned for an instant; though his words had not made any difference to her. She loved him too much; incidentally, it was not enough for Mulan to live every instant fearing for his life to end.

She sighed. Somehow her frustration turned bitter. "And I suppose my destiny is to remain home taking care of our children, and tending the house, right?"

"Well, unlike me, you _**do**_ have alternatives," replied Shang uneasily. He really did not want to initiate or even catalyze another argument about _her role_ in society.

Mulan narrowed her eyes at him. "And I suppose you can't wait for me to get pregnant so I can drop out of the army forever," she spat.

"Damn it," Shang retorted at her false accusation, "are you even listening to yourself? I have never said that. If there's someone who has supported your stay in the army, it's me. Needless to say, it has brought plenty of queries about my sense of honor and discipline."

Mulan shot him one of the coldest glares he had ever received from her.

"Then you should have gotten rid of me when you had the opportunity!"

_Why was she even saying that?_

She got as far from him possible on the bed, for a moment, giving him the impression she felt repulsed by him. She turned her back to him.

He froze. _The thoughts suddenly flashing back into his head. Her identity revealed, Chi Fu urging her out of the tent uncovered to humiliate her before her colleagues, followed by the consul throwing her still wounded body onto the freezing snow. Nevertheless, even then, she had mustered some courage to explain why she had defied traditions, and she had begged for his mercy. Regardless of her frail condition and honest intentions, he had unsheathed the sword she had wielded so bravely in their recent encounter with the ruthless Huns; and he had held that same sword above her head to punish her crime. Until he remembered she was the same soldier who had so willingly risked his life to destroy the copious Barbarian army, the same soldier who had given him his hand in the avalanche, the same soldier who had selflessly gone back into the fierce snow in search of his captain. This woman, amid she had broken the law, had been his best and most loyal soldier. To kill her, would have been a far worse crime than what she had done._

Shang banished the memory from his mind. It was the past, she had forgiven him, and they were together. He stared at her back, and called out for her. Stubborn as she was, she refused to answer or face him. _Typical_.

Eventually, Shang got on his feet and placed himself before her. He noticed the tears rolling down her eyes. He did not understand her. _Why was she crying? _After all she had been the one who brought up the memory. _Was she unhappy? _Despite the fact he did not recall saying or doing something on purpose to wound her feelings, he decided to set his pride aside and spoke up. "Mulan, don't you ever say that again. I don't regret you served in the army, nor everything you have done for our country."

He stood there a while, waiting for her to reply, or even look up at him. He reached out for her hand, and she took it. Before long, he planted a kiss on her hand amorously and she finally said through her tears, "Shang, it's just the thought of not having you here, I just can't bear think of it."

At last, everything made sense to him. She had gone upset because she cared for him, and not because she thought he did not support her, least of all, because of a silly whim. Shang now understood perfectly; after all, he felt exactly the same way for her.

"It's alright Mulan. I'm here," he said soothingly, as he gently used his thumb to wipe the tears on her cheeks. Then, he offered his embrace for consolation. He felt so insensitive for being the cause for those tears.

AUTHOR'S END NOTES AND ACKNOWLEDGEMTS:

Well what do you think? You know all comments are welcome, especially feedback. This time I'd be particularly interested on knowing _**what you think about Chan Juan and An Shing**_, which will play an important part on the Yin Yang saga from now on. Also I would like to know your opinions the argument itself on this chapter… I felt Mulan went a bit out of character and just snapping out before Shang actually made accusations . _**It would be of great help if you guys gave me your opinion on these matters either on reviews or comments =)**_

And speaking of help and encouragement I'd like to thank the following reviewers

_**Feli3**_ (I agree, they so badly needed a break from war)

_**Lynn12**_ (thanx so much girl)

_**CluelessAngel **_(^.^ glad you like it )

_**jgrl92**_ (updated finally)

_**Chelle93**_ (yay thanx a lot ^.^)

_**Amylily123**_ (it took me about eight months to update, but thank you so much for your interest, it's people like you that encourage me to continue =)

_**Grace Potter Evans **_(thanx a million, you're an AWESOME friend.. I miss 'ya girl, where are you these days?)

_**Javajunkiechick **_(Indeed…months actually *blushes* , thanks for your interest)

_My readers and friends at Deviant Art : _

_**Levy 120 **_(thanks for reading regardless of the lack of Mushu in this story, xD)

And of course _**littlemissmulan **_(haven't talked to you for a while… but Mulan and Shang all the way in here!)

And last but not least my friends: **Ari, Shibumi, Mario, Myriam, Jazmin, Aiko, Fernanda **(Although you probably won't read the story…hehe you guys ROCK MY WORLD in good times and bad times…thanx for being there for me. 'CUZ MY LIFE, WOULD SUCK WITHOOOOOOOUT YOU )

BLAH!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Hehe

See you guys, hopefully soon. I'm really looking forward to see your reviews on the chapter. If you could answer those two questions above it would be even greater and probably you'd get a faster update ;).


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**: I've been overloaded with work, and I wrote this chapter like three times before publishing, until I was satisfied with it. Hopefully you'll like it. Thanks for waiting and your support. I WILL write this story 'til the very end, just bear with me. I'm not gonna estimate the remaining time for the next update cause I always end up failing, but there will be a next chapter . Thanks for reading.

**The Woes of Almost a Year's Marriage**

The guards opened the doors, revealing the majestic main hall where the Son of Heaven held all audiences with his subjects.

The emperor sat on his throne, even from below the stairs, Li Shang could see the expression of concern on his majesty's face. Right on the foot of the stairs Shang made a polite reverence kneeling, then placing his forehead on the marble floor.

"Greetings Li Shang," said the son of heaven as he stood from his throne and made his way down the stairs accompanied by his consul.

Shang remained in a silent revering position until the emperor was merely three stairs above him.

"Well, I sent for your presence due to the fact that once again I will need your services." The emperor gestured the guards and the maids to leave the room.

Shang nodded.

"General Wei has been assassined, and I need someone to take his post as my military consul, and I could not think of a better man than yourself, General Li. For you are a very honorable, and trustworthy member of the Imperial Army

"That would imply me to be part of the Imperial Court?" Shang found himself asking.

"Certainly," nodded the emperor with a grin.

Shang remained lost in his thoughts and unable to respond. His father had warned him on various occasions that members of the imperial court hardly ever kept their hands clean, and so far he considered himself a just and honest man. Moreover, being part of the Imperial court had never appealed his interests. He was a soldier and he considered that his place were military headquarters and of course the battlefield. However, he would not dare reject his highness' request.

"I chose you above other equally qualified men because you are uncorrupted by greed, and you will respond with honor, and I trust you will do an excellent job Li Shang."

"Sir, I am deeply grateful your excellency has considered me worthy to serve him, though I appreciate my qualities I just think I will be of greater use if I continue my duties in the Imperial army…"

"Who said anything about you leaving the army?"

Shang was surprised by the emperor's sudden change of tone, but he did not dare say anything.

"You'll still be General and lead our troops to victory when needed," and then he added, " and you'll still go home to your lovely wife. It will only be a matter of you coming several times during the month to discuss war affairs.

Even if he would prefer not to, he had no other choice but to accept the emperor's request.

"It would be an honor," said Shang humbly.

The emperor brought his palms together in a clap. "Well then it is settled. Care to join dinner? I shall introduce you to the rest of the council, though they already know about your remarkable career as a military official."

Shang followed his majesty into the dining hall, where servants were rushing as they carried the exquisite dishes served exclusively at the Imperial Palace.

To Shang's dismay Chi Fu sat close to him. Of all the available seats he could have taken in the large table, the fool just had to make him feel uncomfortable.

A woman carrying a tray with a pot of tea and some cups got between the consul and Li Shang.

Shang didn't pay much attention to her as he fixed his eyes on the meal before him. But Chi Fu was well aware of the fact she had scanned the young general from head to toes.

The emperor introduced the young general to the present members of the council, whose names (and in some cases even their faces) Shang already knew because of his father. In spite of his young age, the council men had seemed to taken acceptance of Li Shang. One of them, the representative of trading affairs acknowledged the great leader his father had been.

As everyone ate their meal, the emperor broke all formalities with Shang, and began to ask him about his family. Particularly about Mulan.

"She's good," said Shang.

"How's the married life suiting her?" inquired the elder man.

"Great," Shang answered, "She's still getting used to it."

"Well well," the emperor made a pause, "then she did not make a mistake when she rejected the post in my council. It all worked for the best." His highness grinned kindly at Shang.

And in Shang's opinion, it had been indeed. After all Mulan was too naïve and kind to work in the court.

"I trust the Li family is fine and expanding," began the emperor went on.

"Well, we…we are trying," said Shang awkwardly. At this point he was slightly annoyed by the fact that everyone kept asking him why after almost a year of his marriage to Fa Mulan, she had not yet produced him an heir. Mostly because of people's assumptions that she might be infertile.

He could hear Chi Fu's snide remark., "That is if she CA N bear children."

Shang glared at the consul at the same time the emperor ordered him to keep his thoughts to himself. How much he hated the pompous bastard. Had he not been in the emperor's presence he wouldn't have hesitated to punch the arrogant slug right on the face. The young general contained his anger and limited to clench his fists so hard the sound of his knuckles cracking was audible for the people present in the room to perceive.

"Don't listen to him," said a man sitting two chairs away from Shang, "It's just a matter of postions. And if that doesn't work, then you can try somewhere else."

"And if that doesn't work you can get her some guy to do you the favor," teased another man.

"Say is she good looking? Cause if she is I wouldn't mind helping her myself."

The emperor broke them off

"Gentlemen, we are here to deal serious business, one of our members was murdered, and this means we have to be more careful with who we trust. We need to find the person responsible for this and make him pay. If there is treachery inside the palace then there certainly is treachery outside its walls."

*+*+*+*+*+

The sun had already set, and still Shang had not arrived back home. Mulan sighed, she had been trying too hard to become a good wife, and this time she had made a huge effort to prepare dinner for him, but now the food had gotten cold, and it would not taste good.

AnShing had been away to the junior military training for two weeks which gave Chan Juan more time to distract herself by offering Mulan her advise.

"He won't come home tonight," Chan Juan began.

"He said the emperor just wanted to discuss something with him and he would be home tonight."

"Well there you just answered yourself," Chan Juan went on, "He's with the emperor. Look I'm just telling you, you shouldn't waste your time waiting for him. When my late husband was appointed by the emperor he'd always be away for two or three days in the Imperial City."

Mulan sighed. She hated when Shang's stepmother compared her marriage. "Well, I guess he didn't want me to worry."

"There's no reason why you should worry," assured Chan Juan, yet Mulan could sense a hint of sarcasm in her voice, "He's in good hands. The maids and concubines there are really kind, especially to army officers."

Mulan frowned and disposed herself to leave the kitchen. She had no need to hear this.

"You're old enough to know that happens," Chan Juan said behind her back, "now if I were you I'd give him reasons not to set his eyes and other things on strangers."

Mulan turned her head back to face Chan Juan bewildered. It definitely did not concern her husband's stepmother, but she and Shang spent plenty of time in their bedroom (and other places) doing what was only natural and expected for a young married couple to do.

"It wouldn't hurt you to look at yourself in the mirror once in a while and wear make up."

Mulan clenched her fist and turned her back again.

"Or you can give him a son," Chan Juan continued. Her last statement said in a louder voice considering Mulan had already left the room.

Mulan entered their bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed. She ran her fingers through her straight dark locks of hair pensively. She knew she was no beauty queen; however, Shang made her feel pretty enough. It was Chan Juan's latter statement what troubled her thoughts.

It have been seven months and there was nothing suspicious going on with her body regardless on the numerous occasions she and Shang had done the physical act of love.

Mulan's original intention was to wait some time to start having kids so she could get acquainted with her new role as Li Shang's wife. Truth be told, it was not that she did not want children, she just panicked at the thought of the responsibilities they lead to, and she wanted to be well prepared on the event of that. But lately, Mulan had begun to fear there might be something wrong with her. And if it were so, she was very likely to lose Shang.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Shang had said he liked her eyes, and her lips and her nose. But she knew she was different. She looked younger than other women her age, she could easily be confused with a teenager. She tied up her hair in a loose bun, and hung a pair of glittering jade and gold earrings on her ears. Then she pressed some powder on her face, which made her sneeze, followed by a red liquid paint on her lips which gave her a tingly sensation. As a final touch she outlined her eyes with black paint. She blinked twice at the sight of her new reflection. She looked so different. If Shang wanted a concubine, she could surely be mistaken for one with all the make-up. For a moment her eyes fixated on a bottle of fragrance her grandmother had given her as a wedding present. The elder lady had said that it's essence had the power to seduce men into doing whatever the woman using it desired. She hadn't really tried it yet. She put some on her neck. But the smell was too strong. She looked at her reflection one last time. _This is ridiculous_, she thought, and used her sleeves to wipe the make up from her face.

She headed to bed, undressed and put on her nightrobes. Just then she heard the gate of the Li estate being opened and the neigh of Shang's white stallion. Mulan lied on her bed, and decided she would pretend to be asleep. She did not want him to know she had been waiting for him.

It did not take long for Shang to enter their room soon after he had placed his armor in the wardrobe in the room next door. He walked towards their bed, let the sword clash loudly as he placed it on his bedside so Mulan would wake up.

Shang took his place on the bed next to his non-sleeping wife making he was not cautious enough not to _"wake her"_ up. As he pulled on the blankets his elbow hit her

"Shang?" she called out in her failed attempt to feign she had just woken up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he lied

"How did it go with the emperor?" she inquired, not bothering to fake anymore , and sat up with her hands resting on her sides.

He frowned for a moment. If he told her about the mocking, she would most likely tell him he shouldn't care for others' judgments and opinions. And somehow it would make him get more upset than he already was. So he decided to give her a brief "Fine," and proceed with his original intention. His hand reached for her waist and pulled the band to loosen her robe.

Whereas Mulan was slightly shocked by his swift movement, she gave him her consent as she let her robe slide freely from her shoulders and then her arms revealing her light tender skin. Chan Juan was wrong, there could be no other woman.

Mulan noticed his fists were clenched tightly, and reached out for them with her own. For an instant he held them limply and then tightened the grip and placed them on his lower back. She sought to meet his eyes silently questioning if he was feeling okay. But Shang ignored her concern and cued her to help him remove his trousers and bent down his head to suckle the skin on her shoulder as both his hands gripped her by the waist in a nonverbal desperate order for her to come closer for which she held no resistance. His hands traveled up her back and then lower in circular motions until they reached her thighs, where they lingered as she sought his lips. He did not pay much attention for he was too concentrated nibbling on her neck.

She gave up for a moment and let herself enjoy every single stroke on her skin. In return she gently slid her hands up and down his strong arms and pulled him down with her.

Shang pulled away from her and bent down to settle his lips on Mulan´s stomach, and stuck his tongue out and slid it upwards until he reached her collarbone.

Mulan wrapped both her legs around his waist. His hands traveled from her thighs, to her knees, to her calves, then north again where they decided to tenderly grasp both her peeks. She moaned his name and he took his position within her center.

Her eyes opened for a moment and amid the poor light provided by the candle she could see the weary expression upon him. Something was troubling him, something was not right. The way he panted this time was different, it was more as if he was groaning. She wondered if he was upset.

He was not aware of her eyes upon his features until he raised his sight then glancing at her and noticed her eyes were not closed. But he did not want to let her know the thoughts in his mind, he knew it would only start another quarrel. He bent down to kiss her on the lips.

This time it had to work, cause she was a fine and strong woman, and he was born to the well-known and respectable legacy of Li Generals.

She parted her lips as she tasted blood. He had bitten her accidentally. Just a small cut, barely visible she pursed her lips to clean it. It had never happened before, he was usually so gentle.

Amid her own daze of the feeling him inside her she studied his features. His brow narrowed as in concern. She didn't need him to tell her something was different, something was angering him, something was worrying him, something was not right.

And then he stopped his motions abruptly.

It was over.

He cursed under his breath and pulled away from his wife.

"Shang, what's wrong with you?"

He turned halfway to her, unknowing how to explain what troubled him. Silence reigned between them for what seemed an eternity.

She was confused. She thought he wanted this.

"It was a long day," he said finally snatching his trousers from the bed and quickly putting them on., "Go back to sleep," he commanded.

But she was too stubborn to do as she was told. . Pulling her side of the sheets to cover herself she sat up on the bed and replied. "Well, I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong."

Without saying a word, Shang walked forward, then stopped for an instant, his glance turned slightly as if he meant to say something, but then he regretted and continued walking towards the door, leaving Mulan alone in the room confused and concerned.

"_Maybe he does not want me anymore," _she thought bitterly, and maybe Chan Juan was right. She had to do something before she'd lose him to another wife or lover.

**Author's Note**: Well I guess you can now see where the drama is heading. So what do you think?

Your comments are always appreciated.

Special thanks to:

**Littlemissmulan**: for being an awesome friend, reading and faving my stories. You're awesome. =)

sangofan89: thanks a lot for your feedback.

**Chazza Fan:** =) thanks for checking my deviantART profile as well, sometimes you get to see some things I don't publish on yet. I'm glad you liked it.

**TheSaintsrocknowandforever:** it's on =) thanx for the encouragement.

**Amylily123:** yeah the thing is my work keeps getting in the way. But the story continues. =) Thanx for reading.

**Lynn12:** Glad to hear from you. Good luck on the project. Sorry I haven't been able to catch up with you. But hey we can always keep in touch through deviantart.

**Chelle93:** Awesome feedback =) thank you so much. Sorry I couldn't update sooner, but I'm working on it.

Thanks a lot to you, for reading the story. Hope you can leave a small note if you're liking the story and if you're not also let me know why. See you next time. Hopefully soon.


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note:_ Well, it took me very long to complete this chapter because I was not content with the first results, so I changed it several times. Hopefully, this last version will be accepted by you readers.

**Wives Do Not Serve In the Army**

Mulan dismounted her dark stallion, led it through the beautiful flower filled gardens at the entrance of the Li Estate until they reached the stables. She had returned from the monthly visit she paid her relatives, and by the absence of Shang's white horse she assumed his master was still on the mission the son of heaven had assigned him. She sighed disappointed. Lately he spent more time with the Emperor than he spent with her, and when they were together his mind seemed to be somewhere else rather than with her. All he did was file reports, write letters to important officials and imperial consuls. Mulan was growing tired of his unfounded excuses and disregard for her. She yearned for him to seek her hand, for him to kiss her passionately, just the way he used to do. Such behavior had awakened Mulan's insecurity and now she found herself wondering if Shang would rather be with someone else, someone who was more fit to be a wife than she was.

As Mulan turned to leave the stables, she felt a bolt of pain on her lower back. She shut her eyes for a moment, until it subsided. Khan had been well aware of that, so he gently moved towards her and nudged his nose against her back. Mulan patted his head affectionately with a lopsided smile.

"I'll be fine boy," she assured, "I guess it must be that I'm tired."

With those final words she left the stables and entered the house. Once she was inside, she immediately detected the presence of someone or something bizarre in the house. Her sense of suspicion increased when she heard the moaning and hollering coming from Chan Juan's room. Could it be possible? Mulan felt her heart skip a beat. How could Shang do this to her? She had to stop it.

Unfortunately for Chan Juan, she had forgotten to put the lock on her room, and it was easy for Mulan to storm in, and find out that the man with Chan Juan was definitely not Li Shang, for this one was less muscular. The wife to the late general Li was having an affair. Mulan had no time to get a clear view of who the man was since she left the room as soon as she realized it was not her husband. However, she was not quiet enough and the pair, engaged in a compromising situation, were aware of her presence.

As Mulan headed towards her room, she heard Chan Juan calling her out.

"This isn't what it looks like," Shang's stepmother tried to explain.

But Mulan did not want to hear. An affair was an affair, no matter the reasons, no matter the people involved. Frankly, she did not care about Chan Juan's business, but she knew that if Shang found out about it, he was entitled to expel her forever from the Li home on the account of dishonoring her late husband's memory.

Chan Juan reached out for Mulan's shoulder and pleaded. "Please, you do not understand how I feel. I have been lonely since the general died. Please do not tell Shang."

For a moment, a feeling of power took over Mulan. After all this time putting up with the woman's snide comments, Mulan had now something she could use in her favor, so Chan Juan would leave her in peace, and yet she so badly wanted Shang to find out. Either way, Mulan would win. But for tonight, all she wanted was to rest.

"I don't care about what you do in your bedroom," Mulan told her coldly, with those final words she locked herself in Shang's bedroom.

As she lied on the bed, she felt the pain on her back return to her. However, she was more concerned about Li Shang's whereabouts. She had not seen him for three weeks now and it was driving her mad not to receive news about him. Just before he left, they had had an argument, and she feared he did not want to come home because of her.

Shang looked through the transparent silk drapes on the large window of his temporary room to the garden outside. He began to think that this garden resembled the one of the emperor, and wondered if it was because he had been parted from Mulan for the longest period since they had gotten married. If he were at home, he and Mulan would probably be consummating.

His mind drifted off into that emperor's birthday anniversary celebration. _He and Mulan had been married for a couple of months, and they found hard to conceal their infatuation for one another. And so, amid the commotion caused by the fireworks and parade, they sneaked into the gardens and together they made the wind and the rain beneath the cherry blossom trees, as a mixture of adrenaline caused by the fear of getting caught and the love they felt for each other ran through their veins._

A smile spread across Shang's features, as he thought about his wife's determination. After all she had been the one who initiated everything that night. He truly missed her these days, and could not wait to return home and see her again, to hold her lithe body in his arms and to please her until she would tremble beneath him.

But then he wondered if it would be that easy to have her when he would return home, for he had made her feel angry and hurt the day he left on the mission. He let out a heavy sigh as he thought about the current difficulties in their marriage. Perhaps if he would make her feel less pressured, she would conceive their child at last. Nevertheless, he worried something might be wrong either with him or with her. And if that was the case, how would they make things work? Would he have to take another wife to give him heirs to pass the Li name?

Shang shook his head, it was Mulan or no one else.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He unlocked the door, and a young lady wearing emerald robes stood before him. At first she simply stared at his feet, and then she raised her eyes to meet his. Shang could not help but to find the young woman's glance mesmerizing.

"How may I serve you?" Shang inquired confused. He had no idea who this woman was.

After a moment of silence she answered, "I was hoping I could serve you." Before Shang could say anything, she pulled the belt on her robe and let it fall from her shoulders revealing her slender naked form.

Li Shang took a step back and placed a hand on his eyes to avoid seeing her.

"I believe you must have mistaken me for someone else," he said now turning his back on her.

"You are General Li Shang aren't you?" she inquired softly adding a tone of sensuality to her words as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Lady, you must leave," said Shang as he backed away from the intruder.

"The governor sent me to thank your loyalty to the empire."

"It's not necessary I have a wife."

"She does not need to know." She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer to her

Shang swallowed hard. No matter how beautiful this lady was, he could not do this to Mulan, for he respected her loyalty and knew that she would be heartbroken and would probably walk away from him forever.

"Go away lady!" Shang ordered, but the woman did not dare move.

All of a sudden a loud cry was heard. His instincts told him someone had been attacked.

Shang violently pushed the lady away and walked past her out of the room.

She landed hard on the marble floor.

The halls were dark, and no guards were in sight. Something bad happened and he knew it would definitely jeopardize the current peaceful relationships between the province and the imperial city.

Shang saw a dim light at the end of the hall coming from one of the chambers. He walked towards it, but soon it went off, and heard someone rushing by him. Shang cursed as he realized he was not carrying his sword with him, all he had was the small knife he kept in his belt.

He tried to follow the footsteps by their sound, but it became impossible when the hall was filled with a cry , "the governor has been murdered!" Shang turned to walk towards the room again, but then he decided it would be more useful if he caught the assassin. Therefore, he ran in the opposite direction.

The hall was lit all of a sudden by the torches carried by the guards. The culprit was nowhere in sight, making Shang seem suspicious in the guards' eyes. They charged towards him, and he did not fight them back. Instead, he simply told them the truth.

"The murder escaped, he headed in that direction."

"How do you intend to be useful, you're not even wielding a sword," demanded one of the guards as he pinned him to the ground.

"Perhaps you left it intentionally where you murdered the governor," concluded the other one pulling his hair to lift his face.

That moment, the mysterious lady who had willingly offered herself to Shang moments earlier emerged from the guests chamber the young general was assigned.

She looked down at Shang, and somehow he could sense she was pleased.

"Yang," the first guard asked, "was this man with you?"

She looked down at Shang one more time. She remained silent for a long time as the young general's fate lied in her hands. Either way he was lost.

"He tried to take advantage of me," she said finally, feigning innocence and vulnerability.

*+*+*+*+

Mulan opened her eyes abruptly as the pain from her entrails disturbed her slumber. Sometimes her old wound would give her the sensation of pain; however, this time it felt very different. Perhaps a warm cup of tea would make it go away. She looked though the window and confirmed it was still dark. She sighed. She refused to bother the maid at such late hours, so she decided to do it herself. As she sat up another bolt of pain pierced through her body.

Great ancestors. She exclaimed as she was aware of the blood stain in her nightgown. Her first instinct was to search for a wound but there was none.

She got on her feet and thick red blood covered her legs. This was not normal, so unlike the regular bleeding she knew. The pain was unbearable and she had to sit down again.

She called out the maid's name several times, hoping Chan Juan would not hear her cries. But there was no answer.

She stood up one more time and took a step forward, but her legs were weak and could not hold the rest of her body. She landed on her knees and all of a sudden her eyes felt heavy and everything went black. Mulan fell unconscious on the ground.

* * *

Shang placed the saddle on his white stallion's back and secured the bag with his belongings with the belt in the saddle. He sighed impatiently, he knew she had followed him to the stables and was expecting him to say something. Nevertheless, it was too difficult all the time. There was no way she could understand his reasons.

She broke the silence, "So, can I go with you?"

It was not as easy as it used to be before. In the past she had fought by his side in the battlefield; now he was expected to play along the game of court diplomacy, and she was too naïve for it.

Shang sighed one more time searching for the right words to say. How could he tell her no without making her feel useless?

"I'd rather you wouldn't," he said after an absence of words between them.

She frowned and inquired defiantly, "Why not?"

Shang rolled his eyes. Sometimes he wished she wouldn't be so stubborn. He remained quiet choosing his word carefully, he knew that words where like a spark close to fireworks.

"Come on, Shang" She insisted, "Don't you think I can defend myself? I've been to war before."

"That's not the point," he interrupted, "things are different now"

"How different exactly?" Mulan demanded as she stood infront of him, "You don't think I am capable?"

"No, you know it's not that," he said simply. He pressed his lips against her forehead as a farewell gesture and turned his back on her.

"Then, what is it?" asked Mulan more irritated.

Shang sighed. There was no way he could get away without giving her a good reason.

"It's my men, alright?" he explained, "I don't want them disrespecting you."

Mulan did not agree with him. So far she had gotten along quite well with the rest of the soldiers. Shang was being unreasonable, and overprotective.

"You know I'll just blend it," she spoke up, "I've done it before."

"Oh, for your ancestor's sake Mulan!" Shang exclaimed, "it's not that easy anymore. You are a married woman, and no respectable married woman serves in the Imperial army!"

"I don't care!" she snapped, "Shang, me being in the army never bothered you before."

She was impossible. "But you are my damn wife now!" he snapped back, his voice higher now, "People are going to tease you just for fun, and I don't want anyone trying to take advantage of you just to piss me off."

"Shang, you're being ridiculous."

Shang raised his brow. Could she not understand that all he wanted was to keep her safe from harm? His patience had worn out. How dare she call him ridiculous.

"Am I?" He demanded bending down to look her straight in the eyes with his authoritative aura, just like when they first met, "Just listen to yourself, any other woman would have agreed to stay home and let her husband have some peace of mind when he leaves, but you." He made a pause. "You have to win the stupid argument, don't you?"

"Then what am I supposed to do Husband?" she asked adding a false adoring tone to the last word. "Stay home and prepare your dinner? Get pregnant so you're content? Is that was this is all about?"

" Well maybe you should," he said angrily, "you made a promise, and it's about time for you to keep it, so stay out of the army and do what is your duty for once !"

Mulan narrowed her eyes at him. He had crossed the line. A mixture of fury and pain invaded her, she could not think of anything to reply his crude remark.

Shang turned his back on her once more and climbed up his stallion's back.

"As your former commanding officer and your husband, I order you to stay home."

Mulan did not dare say anything, not because she feared him, but because of the mixture of emotions boiling inside her. Instead, she kept her eyes narrowed trying to keep the pain to herself. She was disappointed. She never thought there would come a day when he would treat her this way, and what hurt her the most was his cold manner and the fact he did not seem to want to take his words back.

Shang led his horse out of the stable, leaving Mulan behind. He turned back trying to meet her eyes to bid her farewell, but she turned away from him.

A tear rolled from Mulan's eye.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Mulan opened her eyes, feeling dumbfounded for an instant. She could see the blurry bodies of Chan Juan and Jen Chun, the maid, standing next to the bed; and a doctor in front of her.

"What happened?" she asked confused. Somehow she could feel an absence of something.

At first none of them gave her answer, and simply stared at her pitifully.

"You had a miscarriage," informed the doctor.

Mulan blinked twice. It could not be possible.

"I did not know," she placed her hand on her stomach and sat up abruptly, which caused her pain. "I …how far along…I…" She stuttered and shook her head incredulously.

"You were a bit more than a month pregnant," explained the doctor, "you probably couldn't tell yet."

Mulan nodded in understanding. She was still shocked.

"These things happen," the medic went on, "sometimes the babies do not develop the way they should, well…simply it's not meant to be."

Mulan bit her lip, yet she did not dare cry.

"However, this doesn't mean your chances of becoming a mother are gone," he continued, "you need some time to heal your body. Once your cycle returns you may try conceiving again."

Mulan nodded silently as the weigh of guilt fell on her shoulders.

"It is possible that the bleeding might return. Don't be alarmed, just eat healthy and remain in bed until the pain subsides," the medic instructed, "drink these herbs, they'll will help with the healing." He handed a bag of herbs to the maid.

Mulan remained completely silent and motionless.

The doctor made a reverence and excused himself. Before he walked out the door he turned to Mulan and said, "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Fa Mulan." He excited the room followed by Chan Juan.

"I'm going to prepare you some tea with the herbs," announced Jen Chun.

"Thank you," Mulan managed to say.

"Lie down mistress," the maid advised, "rest all you need so you may recover soon."

Mulan did as she was told, and Jen Chun walked out leaving her alone.

That moment Mulan's world fell apart. She could still feel the pain on her back, but it was nothing compared to the grief that gradually increased inside her soul. She placed her left hand on her now empty womb, wondering why this happened to her. Just then she blamed herself. Had she not complained about how not ready she was to become a mother, the ancestors and the gods would not have punished her this way.

The tears welled up in her eyes soon slid across her face. She was allowed to cry, there was no one who could see her. _It's all my fault _a voice inside her mind repeated. She clung on to her pillow and cried as she heard the echo of Shang's last words before he left,_"you made a promise, and it's about time for you to keep it, so stay out of the army and do what is your duty for once!"_

The guilt was killing her inside. But she never meant for this to happen. Despite the fear she had not wanted to admit, and her claims of how unprepared she was to bring a child into the world, deep within her she knew that she would have loved this child beyond she could have ever imagined. She would have taken care of him, or her. She would have taught it to be a good and honorable person. She would have given up her own life to protect it. But now all she was left was the bitter taste of loss, and the grief of never knowing what could have been.

Author's Note: Please don't hate me. What do you think? I know, this is probably the hardest and saddest thing I have ever written so far. Please let me know what you think and your reaction to it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Trial, Torture, and Tears**

Shang stood before the governor's consul and other members of his court. Two built-up guards were commanded to position themselves next to the young general aiming their swords at him, though he made no attempt to escape. His gaze was stern, and his poise was firm. There was nothing for him to hide after all, except of course, the woman who had visited his chambers. He had not done anything, but he knew how fast gossip spread, and he feared an altered version of the events would reach Mulan's ears and she would believe it. His thoughts drifted off to her, and how deeply sorry he was for their last fight. Perhaps if he had let her come, he would not be in this situation. At least he would have her to back him up. She was an excellent soldier, probably the best one he had ever known, and he had been limiting her too much. But now he was most certain he was the prey of a plot carefully planned to interfere with the emperor's commands and wishes, or simply a plot to tarnish his impeccable and honorable reputation as a General of China's Imperial Army.

"So, you claim you were in your chambers when the governor was murdered," the consul spoke up.

"Yes, I ran outside the moment I heard someone scream," declared Shang when he was granted the opportunity to talk.

The consul nodded. Given Shang's record, he did not seem very likely to be responsible for the murder. But he had been the only person in the crime scene. "What exactly was it you were doing?"

"I was preparing myself to sleep," Shang explained.

"Someone saw a woman exiting your room," one of the guards dove in.

Shang swallowed hard. He was innocent, and yet he felt he had done something wrong. He had pushed the woman away because he had clearly said he did not want her. He had to choose his words carefully.

"Well, she deliberately tried to seduce me," Shang declared.

"Is that so?" the consul went on, "because the young maiden claims you took advantage of her. Bring her in."

The doors opened and the girl who had previously been into Shang's guestroom walked through the hall, weeping shrilly. Her personality was completely different. Before the consul she was a fearful maiden, but earlier she had been quite determined to get what she wanted. Truth be told, Shang had no idea who she was. He hardly ever paid attention to other women. Therefore, the first time he had been aware of her existence had been when she entered his temporary chambers.

"Ming Yue," the consul started, "you were spotted leaving General Li Shang's guest dorms moments after the murder took place. Would you please let us know what happened?"

She choked her tears and explained, "This man took advantage of me."

Shang could not hide his anger. He narrowed his eyes at the young woman and spoke up, "I didn't. I wouldn't. She tried to but I said no!"

"Silence!" the consul roared.

Shang felt the tip of one of the guard's sword pressed against the skin on his torso.

"I have a bruise on my back that proves otherwise," declared Ming Yue. She turned her back on the consul and shamelessly pulled the fabric on her sash and the men's lustful thoughts awoke. Ming Yue was undeniably beautiful.

"We'll have to see that," the consul heard himself say.

"I admit I pushed her away," Shang confessed, "Only because she was forcing herself. I don't even know this woman"

"No," she cried, "I wouldn't dare. I am a lady."

The consul ignored them both and interjected, "Perhaps both of you are lying. Perhaps she got in the way to stop the murder and Li Shang pushed her away."

"I did not murder the governor either, I was sent here to deal with issues peacefully and not through violence," Shang went on, "the hall was dark and I the chambers with the purpose of seeing what happened after I heard a scream."

"He lies!" screeched Ming Yue.

It was then that Shang figured the woman must have been hired to distract him while the real assassin performed the crime.

One of the guards grabbed Shang's hair and pushed his body against the marble floor.

"Tell the truth!" he ordered.

"I didn't do anything," the young General declared. Clearly the movement had been painful, but he could deal with it. "Had it been me I would have run away."

The consul pulled on his thin beard pensively deciding if Li Shang's last statement was logical.

"You don't want to tell us the truth then we'll help you out, bring it in!"

Another guard approached them carrying a set of three wooden boards chained by a rope. The guards next to Shang removed his shoes and stockings and tied the rope around and between his feet.

"Maybe this makes it easier," said the consul.

The third guard pulled on the rope causing the boards to tighten around Shang's feet blocking the blood flow. Shang shut his eyes in pain, soon it subsided. "I didn't. The halls were dark and I couldn't see who it was," he declared. Again the guard pulled the rope .

"You're not cooperating," the consul continued, "the relation with the Imperial city is waning, we know you were sent to get rid of the problem."

"The emperor is willing to negotiate peace through a treaty," Shang said.

"A treaty of blood no doubt. Perhaps there is someone you care about…let me think…," he made a pause, "Oh yes, Fa Mulan."

"Don't you dare!" said Shang through gritted teeth.

"I believe I've hit the spot."

"Don't you dare go near her!"

The guard pulled the rope for the third time.

"Interesting."

Just then Shang swiftly rolled on the ground, a movement which was completely unexpected by the guard holding the rope, making the rope slide his hands. However, the other guard aimed his sword at Shang who turned to face the theat. The young general hit the guard's knees with his elbow which caused him to drop the sword and cut the rope in half. Li Shang immediately got hold of the sword and released himself. He could think of the pain later. He ran as fast as he could, and he tripped. The guards caught up with him. One of them lunged for his feet. At first Shang let him approach him, and then he punched him making his head hit one of the stairs leaving him unconscious. Shang ran to the stables to get his horse.

Mulan lied on the bed clutching her stomach. Days had gone by and she did not make an effort to leave the bedroom. Instead she laid on the bed cluching her stomach as the feeling of loss tormented her thoughts. She blamed herself and wondered if the gods or the ancestors had punished her for telling her husband she did not desire to become a mother yet. True, she did not consider herself ready for its implications, yet she never completely objected to the idea. After all she loved Li Shang and it was natural for them to start a family. Her eyes were swollen and red from days of crying. Her stare was blank and depressing. She thought of what could have been. The child barely developing in her womb could have been a fair and brave leader like his father. Certainly, he would have been very proud. Tears streamed down her almond shaped eyes.

The maid entered the room carrying a tray.

Mulan made no attempt to move.

"Fa Mulan," she began, "you need to put yourself together again. Master Li could come anytime soon, and you don't want him to see you like that."

The young warrior sighed. The thought of Shang's reaction to the news was tormenting her. How would she face him now? How would she tell him what she was responsible for?

"I want to be alone," declared Mulan turning her back on Jen Chun.

"Nonsense," she went on, "you need to recover your health. Master Li needs a healthy wife to bear him sons. You must not give up, these things happen to a lot of women."

Just then, Shang's stepmother entered the room and sat at the edge of the bed.

"The maid is right," she said, "you should eat. Shang mustn't find out what happened, or he'll think you can't bear him children and get another wife to serve that purpose."

The Jen Chun frowned at Chan Juan's comment, yet she was not entitled to argue with her.

"Oh…I left some rice boiling, can you check on it?" ordered Chan Juan.

The maid nodded and left.

Chan Juan set her eyes on the door, and began."Now Mulan, Shang doesn't need to know what happened the other night. We can support one another, I'll make sure he doesn't find out about the baby if you don't tell him about the man that was here."

Mulan was not concerned of Chan Juan's private affairs, earlier she had wanted Shang to know about her treason. But now Mulan was too weak. She feared Shang would find out and leave her. She loved him too much. The younger woman remained responseless.

"Think about it."

The maid re-entered the room, and Chan Juan left.

"Master Li is good and fair. You must let him know the truth about this child. Surely, he will understand and help the burden upon you less heavy."

Tears formed in Mulan's eyes. Lately she had not seen the kind Shang she had fallen in love with, and she found it very hard for him to understand the situation. Surely, he would blame her.

Jen Chun placed her hand on Mulan's cheek in a motherly way. "You are still so young, don't dwell too much on the past."

But what did this woman knew about her. Of all the things that had happened to her, nothing compared to the feeling of failure, guilt, and grief she was going through.

Author's Note: After a long while the chapter is up. I am not completely satisfied with the outcome.

Thank you for your patience and encouragement.

Thank you so much for reviewing, your reviews keep me writing.

Next chapter is halfway done. I am really looking forward to upload it soon.


	14. The Prayer

Greetings all readers,

I had really high expectations on this chapter. I hope it suits you all =)

_Baolina._

**The Prayer**

Mulan lit an incense stick and gently placed it on a copper furnace. Soon its smoke twirled above. She placed the furnace in front of the nearest tombstone. The former warrior had been taught by her parents to leave an offering every time she wanted to ask their forefathers something. This time, after several weeks of grieving her loss, she decided to pray for Shang to come home soon.

Mulan rose her eyes for a moment, studying her surroundings. The tombstones were made of fine marble and some even embroided with gold, within each of them the characters for honor, courage, leadership, and devotion were engraved. Unlike her own family shrine, this one had elegant pedestals supporting different helmets, medals, and swords, where her family held a special space for their guardians instead. Shang's long line of military heritage was evident.

For a moment, she focused her attention to the nearest and newest of the tombstones which belonged to Shang's father. Mulan never had the chance to meet him, but from the little things her husband had shared about him, she understood why he respected and admired him deeply. Next to General Li's tablet was his first wife's marble stone. She wondered if she would approve of her. Shang had always said she was a loving mother. Perhaps she wouldn't give her as much trouble as Chan Juan did.

She thought about her own ancestors back at home. Particularly, her guardian, wishing someone would summon him so she could have someone listen to her troubles. Mulan knew he would most likely not solve them, but he would at least get a smile out of her.

Once again she stared at the war artifacts decorating the shrine, it was then that she wondered if her unborn child would have been a soldier had it not suffered its terrible fate. Tears welled up in her eyes and she sobbed. The wound in her heart was still very painful. Lately, she thought it had been a cruel punishment sent from the heavens for her saying she was not prepared to have a child. Although she knew she would have been more than willing to accept the responsability. After all, it was Li Shang's son, and she loved him more than words could describe. She loved him enough to leave her life as a soldier behind.

"You didn't need to take him away from me," she whispered bitterly. Her words disappeared into the air. She opened her eyes and saw her reflection in one of the tombstones. She no longer knew if she was angry at herself or at the heavens for taking away her child. But she had been taught not to hold grudges against them, for it would only anger them more and bring misery upon her.

"I am trying to be a good wife, and I never knew it would be so hard. Please don't take Shang away too. Bring him home safely, and I swear I will be a better wife to him. I will complain less, and fulfill my duties. But please let him come home."

It had become a habit for her to place her hands on her stomach, as a failed attempt to feel the being that was no longer inside of her. Out of her sash she produced a tiny shoe she secretly knit, and hid it underneath one of the swords. It was a simple offering for the child that was never born, for she loved this being despite she had not known of its existence.

"Please take care of my baby's spirit," she prayed through her tears, "and let it know that I love him or her, and I am deeply sorry I wasn't good enough."

She had gone seeking for peace in her spirit, but she only felt worse. The incense had completely burned out, and she remained crying bitterly.

Just then, she could feel his graceful heavy steps approaching, his masculine smell and the swaying ofhis red cape... could it possibly be him?

Mulan closed her eyes and brought her hands together in a praying position.

He had sought her inside the house, but she was absent. He also sought for her in the gardens, until he saw her kneeling before his ancestors. The young general walked up the stairs that lead him into the shrine. Each step he hesitated, and remembered words as daggers he had chosen to say to her before he left, wondering if he deserved to be forgiven. He stood quietly two steps before the entrance thinking on how he should begin his apology.

Two months had gone by since he left home under the son of heavens' commands-

Although he had tried not to make noises as he approached, Mulan could feel him coming towards her. But she preferred pretending she had not noticed, so she remained in a praying position.

When he finally reached her, he stood motionless waiting for her to turn to him, contemplating the way her dark hair now fell above her waist. He realized she was probably expecting him to approach her. He smiled for a brief moment, had he not known her better, he could see she was being proud. Li Shang took a couple of steps until he was next to her, and then he knelt beside her. He knew how fond she was of her own ancestors, he had to admit he was surprised to find her praying in his family shrine. The young general brought his hands together and just thanked his ancestors he was finally back home. Truthfully, Shang held deep respect and admiration for his ancestors, but it was rather unusual to see him inside the temple, let alone praying.

"Ancestors, please, let Mulan forgive me for all I have done to her," he whispered audibly and then he reached for her hand. At first she resigned to take it, but then she let his fingers entwine with her own. He squeezed her hand lightly, and caressed the skin there, just the way he would do to make her aware they were still holding hands on several occasions.

At last she finally turned to him. Her eyes were red from crying. He felt so thankful when she pronounced his name. It sounded so perfect when she said it, and it was enough for him to surrender into her arms.

He held on to her body with all his might, as if letting her go meant she would disappear into thin air.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he ran his fingers though her hair. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she sobbed softly. "Shang, I'm sorry." She felt the words trapped inside her throat. How should she give him the terrible news?

"It's alright, Mulan," he said soothingly, "I'm here."

He felt the wave of guilt drowning him. She was not the one who needed to apologize, it was he who had offended her by undermining her before he left. The scent of her hair filled his nostrills, he let himself be mesmerized for a moment, but he came back to reality when he noticed she had not yet stopped weeping. Her hands were clinging to his clothes as if she were in extreme pain.

He gently cupped her face with both his hands seeking to meet her eyes. But she was so ashamed she could not bear looking into his eyes. He then, used his thumb to wipe the tears falling from her eyes and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"I'm sorry, Shang," she began, "it's just that I...I...lo...I thought that you would never come, and I really missed you."

Shang smiled at hearing her words, and held her against his body one more time.

"I missed you too, my love." He sighed heavily, uncertain of what he should do. If he could he would carry her in his arms and lead her to their bedroom, to show her how much he loved her with kisses and please her all the way. However, she had never shown herself so vulnerable before, so he assumed it would be best for him to help her feel better. After all, it was his fault she was like that. His bitter words had crushed her.

"Forgive me, for all I said to you before I left, I was an idiot."

"No Shang, you are right, I should make an effort to be a better wife."

"You are a good wife," he said reassuringly.

Mulan smiled lopsidedly knowing he would probably not think that if he knew she had lost their first child. A single tear rolled down her face. Once again she could feel the sensation of the terrible news clogged in her throat choking her spirit. He did not deserve this. Surely he had made his mistakes but he had been a very understanding husband.

"I feel terrible," Shang confessed humbly, "I know I have been hurting you so. But I also know I want to make it up to you. We shall be fine, I promise."

Mulan could not respond orally. Instead, she simply nodded and closed her eyes as her husband lifted her chin and pressed his lips softly against hers for a brief moment. He stood up and lifted her up in his arms. She simply allowed him to carry her down the stairs and into their bedchamber in his strong arms.

Shang placed her body gently on the bed and quickly removed his armor. He settled himself above her. Normally he would take time to put the armor in its place ,but he had been a very long time away from home, particularly away from her.

Mulan remained motionless, uneager simply waiting at his mercy. Shang initiated one more kiss, which she responded softly, though he definitely demanded for more passion as he stuck his tongue into her mouth and slightly nibbled on her lower lip. Then one hand clung onto one of her breasts. A soft moan escaped her. Shang was surprised of her passiveness, usually she would already be tugging his robes and belt off. Perhaps she was still upset. But he knew he could make her feel better. Shang pulled the sash on her dress and uncovered her shoulders. He bent down to kiss her neck.

Meanwhile, Mulan was still tense and uneasy. She did not know if she could go through this; on the other hand she knew she had to fulfill his needs as a husband. Mulan shut her eyes painfully as she remembered the night she had lost the baby.

Shang was completely unaware of her reaction. He caressed his wife's legs up and down until his hands decided to remain on her thighs. Mulan called his name softly, but he was too lost and focused to hear. She called his name again only slightly louder this time. He grinned and met her eyes, which were an ineffable mirror of fear. His grin faded, and his gazed fixed on hers questioningly. Mulan let her eyelids conceal her fear and sadness. Shang placed his large hardened hand gently on her face trying to reassure her. She placed her own hand on top of his, a gesture which he assumed meant she wanted him to continue. Thus, he massaged her thigh and pulled the fabric from her sleeves to finish undressing her, until she cried, "Please stop."

He tried to ignore her but she placed both her hands on his shoulders gently gesturing him to pull away from her.

"I can't...I can't do this...right now." How would she explain her lack of desire?

He looked down at her into her eyes, still panting aroused

"I'm bleeding," she lied.

Shang nodded and lied next to her breathing heavily

"I'm sorry,"she began.

Shang's mind was still foggy from being aroused earlier; therefore, it took him a moment to reply.

"Don't worry," he said finally, emitting a long sigh.

Nevertheless, her anguish increased. She had decided to lie and reject him.

Shang shut his eyes for a moment until his mind cleared. He then turned to his wife and announced he would take a bath.

Mulan nodded and left the room to fetch water for him. Shang rose from the bed and gathered his armor to put it back in its place.

Mulan took a place on her side of the bed. She sighed as regret filled her mind once again wishing she could tell the truth to Shang.

A while later Shang lied on his back next to her. The candlelight was still burning on the bedside near his wife while she lay on her side apparently asleep. He sighed in frustration wishing things between them would be less complicated. He had to inform her of what happened during the mission before anyone would twist the truth and hurt her. He was aware he had hurt her enough the past months, let alone he had put her through pain even before they got married. Moreover, he knew she had been trying really hard to make a good impression on him as a wife by sacrificing things such as living with her family, and quitting the army. She was such a good soldier it was odd not having her around, especially on the last mission. Perhaps he should grant her the chance to rejoin his men, so she would get a rest from Chan Juan and all her wife duties, and spend more time with him instead. Although he had to treat her like a soldier among his troops.

Shang placed a kiss on Mulan's cheek and blew out the candle. He took his place next to her and snaked his arm around her waist. He breathed in the scent of her hair. It was good to be home.

The following morning,Shang woke up and found Mulan's spot empty beside him, which he found unusual. Normally, he would be the one to leave bed first. He stretched his arms and yawned. Perhaps he had been too tired from both the journey and the mission.

He found Mulan staring at a cup of tea. She seemed to be indecisive about something he could not read. Perhaps she already knew about the failed mission and the woman who tried to seduce him, and she was trying not to start another quarrel between them, so she decided to keep her feelings to herself. Shang shook his head. She did not deserve that. He had to tell her.

Mustering all the courage he could he approached her, and took a seat in front of her. However, she was still lost in her thoughts, unaware of his presence. He then placed his hand on her forearm to catch her attention which made her let go off the teacup all of a sudden spilling some of it on his sleeves.

"Mulan, are you okay?" he asked concerned. He had noticed she was somehow distant and lost in her own thoughts since he came.

"Sorry, Shang I wasn't expecting you."

He smiled and tried to lighten her mood, "Neither was I expecting you to leave the bed before me. Having trouble sleeping?"

Mulan shrugged hesitating. "I...I...I...wanted to make breakfast for you." She had not slept that night thinking whether if she would tell Shang what happened while he was away or not, wondering how would he take the information if he knew.

He gently put both Mulan's hands together, and then surrounded them with his own.

"Are you sure you are alright?" he inquired gently caressing one of her hands with his thumb.

"Yes, just a bit distracted, that's it."

"Well in that case, I want to talk to you."

Mulan swallowed hard.

"I can explain." she began.

"What?" He continued, "no, it's me, there's something I need to explain and I hope you can understand."

"Oh," she uttered somewhat relieved.

"Well, to begin the mission didn't go as planned. Actually it completely backfired."

"What happened?"

"Well, the governor was murdered and I heard a scream in the middle of the night and I rushed to see, and then the guards assumed I was responsible for everything."

"I can see why you took so long. Shang, is everything alright? "

"Yes, and there's something you must know before anyone else tries to poison you with lies and gossip about me..." he made a long pause, "do you trust my word above others?"

"Well...yes."

"I need you to believe in me, because I have always tried to be honest with you. In spite of the fact I have been inconsiderate the last months, I have not stopped loving you."

"Shang what happened? I'm very worried. Did you kill anyone ?"

"No, I managed to escape, but there will be no military allegiance, I will have to seek somewhere else."

"But Shang, I believe you, you are an honest man. You wouldn't betray the emperor nor his commands"

"I got in trouble because of a woman?"

Mulan involuntarily backed away from him.

"Please trust me," He continued, "I didn't want to..." By now he was too nervous to even think straight.

"Didn't want to what Shang?" her eyes began to narrow.

"It's not what you're thinking."

"Then what Li Shang? I stayed home while you got involved with some other woman?"

"No, Mulan! Listen to me first...I never would have tried anything with a woman other than you!"

"Then what happened that turned out so bad?"

"I don't really know, but I think someone plotted against me, to ruin my reputation. I was getting ready to sleep and then a woman got into the room I was staying in, and she was undressed and she tried to seduce me, but I swear Mulan, that I pushed her away the moment she tried.

"So you didn't...?"

"Definitely no," He went on, "I pushed her away and she fell on the ground and then I ran out to see what had happened outside. But then it was dark and it all happened too fast. By the time I reached the governor's chambers he was dead and the culprit escaped and then the guards thought it was me because I was closest to him and then the woman blamed me because I rejected her, and I had to go on trial."

It was too much information for her to process at once, she remained silent her gaze fixed on the teacup.

"Please, Mulan, trust me," he begged, "I would never betray you,

"Shang, but before you left you were so mad at me," she reasoned. After all he had implied she was not living up to his expectations as a wife, it would not be surprising if he tried to find someone else.

"And I'm sorry, you have any idea of how much I regret you were not there with me? I know that having you there would have spared me at least half of the drama that went on. I love you Fa Mulan, and I don't care how much we fight and disagree, I'd still feel the same for you because you are an extraordinary woman, brave and devoted. I know what you are capable of , and I have kept you home because of my own fear of losing you. I just wouldn't bear the idea of not waking up each morning to you sleeping next to me, or arriving home without you here to receive me with a hug and a kiss, or trying to convince you to change your mind about something you stubbornly hold on to and then resigning to the fact you will stick to it no matter what, because that is who you are, and I love you because of that, and nothing is ever going to change that."

Mulan finally rose her gaze to face him. He did not hesitate this time, and she wanted to believe him, because she needed to.

"Nothing is going to change that?" she repeated faintly remembering the truth she had concealed these days.

"Nothing at all. There's no other woman for me that isn't you."

Mulan nodded. A smile was drawn across her face for a brief moment.

"Now you mentioned you wanted to explain something to me earlier, what was it?" Shang caressed her cheek affectionately.

"I...wanted to tell you...I ...thought I should surprise you with breakfast."

"Is the offer still available?"

"Yes." she said getting on her feet.

"Thank you." He planted a soft kiss on her hand, and then let her go.

**Author's End Note:**

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

Alice Prince, Jenna Zabala, suzie (x2), Patty, Peppermint Ice Cream, mm, Starsinmieyez.

**Alice Prince:** Thanks for the encouragement. I'm working on the next one. Hope I have enough time soon to update.

**suzie:** well this time she used her fake period as an excuse.

**Jenna Zabala: **please stay tuned =)

**Patty:** thank you so much, it's always an honor to have people liking what I write.

**Peppermint Ice Cream:** Honestly, I can't wait to write his reaction. :) BTW...I wrote the recap my deviantart page here's the link to it : .com/journal/0/

**Strarsinmieyez: ** There will be a chapter where they both go to visit the Fa Family.

**mm:** I hope you liked the chapter =)

And future readers, thanks for reading. I would most certainly appreciate any comments, constructive feedback in your reviews. I also check my inbox.

_**Stay tuned for the next chapter...Mulan and Shang will have their first anniversary as a wedded couple.**_

And last but not least, I apologize if you find any spelling or grammatical typos...I checked but the screen of my laptop is so darn small...something might slip. If you see them do notify them so I can correct them later. Once again thanks.


	15. Anniversary

_Without further ado, I present to you the 15__TH__ chapter._

**Twelve Full Moons**

On the day of their first anniversary as husband and wife, Shang had risen earlier than the sun to prepare Mulan's gift. For weeks he had obsessed on what he should give her, for he wanted something special and meaningful that would remind her how much he loved her. So many suggested a fine piece of jewelry was the best gift, considering its value and endurance. Though she would be genuinely grateful, Shang knew she was very simple. The young general also thought of presenting her a sword, but he thought it would be more appropriate for another celebration. He needed something suitable for a wife, but not too ordinary.

The sun had still not risen. Shang entered their chamber and found Mulan the way he had left her earlier. He could not wait for her to see what he had prepared her. Shang sat at the opposite edge of the bed from her contemplating her slow breathing. He smiled to himself wondering if she knew he could stare at her sleeping for quite long periods of time. The way her chest rose and fell as she breathed, the strands of hair framing her face, her hands resting on her abdomen, her lips, her eyes, her small button nose were enough for him to admire forever. He did not dare attempt to wake her.

His gaze remained fixed on her until the sunrays lightened her face and she turned her body to the other side letting him know she had no intention to rise yet. Shang then decided to get dressed for the day. Once he was ready, he gently lied next to her on the bed. Slowly he surrounded her waist with his arm. Then he gently removed her straight locks to get a clearer view of her face. In hopes she would turn to him, open her sweet lips for a kiss, and let him make love to her, Shang pressed a soft kiss on her shoulder. Nevertheless, she remained asleep. His breath lingered upon her neck for a while until she turned to face him, her eyes still closed. He smiled and caressed her back.

At last she half opened one of her eyes. He pressed a kiss on her nose, and then another on her forehead. Mulan kept her eyes closed to avoid the morning light.

"Goodmorning," he whispered.

"morning" she replied as she opened one eye.

He pressed his lips on the eye she left unopened.

"Shang," she pronounced audibly .

"Mulan," he called out leaning to kiss her neck as he massaged her back.

She pursed her lips worriedly. He had been wanting to make the wind and the rain for a while and she had no more excuses to postpone it. She had to move on some day, otherwise he was bound to disown her. Moreover, it was something she had always enjoyed, it could not be unpleasant.

Shang looked into her eyes tenderly, and he could clearly read the sadness he had been witnessing lately and did not understand. He had apologized many times, and she had genuinely forgiven him. _But why did he feel she was hiding something? _

Before he could read any further, his wife wrapped a leg around his waist granting him consent to proceed. He was somehow impatient, for it had been a long time since he had intimacy with her. There was hunger in the way he kissed her, and he got so lost in his own lust, he did not notice there were times in which she actually cried as she remembered the tragic experience she had recently suffered.

The moment he came out of his ecstasy he realized something had gone wrong. Something about Mulan was not the same. He rolled on his back and lied next to her sighing agitatedly. She had turned her back on him trying to hide her tear stained face . Sensing the distance he reached out for her , and with her eyes closed she rested her head on his chest.

"Mulan," he asked concerned, "are you alright?"

She simply nodded, and he decided to believe her.

"I really missed this," he declared nonchalantly, somehow hoping she would say the same.

He caressed her cheek affectionately and she looked up at him.

"Wait here, I have something for you."

Shang got up, redressed himself and left the room. Mulan let a long heavy sigh escape from her as she realized things were definitely not the same. All along she had been worried about doing things right, and somehow she kept remembering the child she had lost. Nevertheless, she kept reminding herself she had to give him what he wanted, and maybe she could compensate the miscarriage. She had forgotten how it was to enjoy the mere moment of intimacy with her husband, leaving the world behind her and just become one with him.

Just then, Shang entered the room carrying a wooden box. He sat next to his wife and handed her the box . She looked at him puzzled. Why would he bring her a gift?

As if he had read her mind, Shang answered her unspoken question, "It has been twelve full moons since you became my wife."

"Oh Shang, "she felt embarrassed she had not remembered, "I don't know what to say."

"A thank you is enough," he said.

"Well thank you."

She opened the box and found a golden necklace with a small charm sword which had the characters for love and courage.

"I couldn't think of other words that could describe you best."

Mulan nodded, suddenly reminded of who she really was.

"Shang, I…I didn't get you anything."

"It's alright, you don't have to." He continued, "well, actually, a little smile on your face will do." He lifted her chin to look into her eyes amorously. She grinned weakly.

"Well, I guess I can still make a special meal for you today," she offered.

"Sure, I'd love to," he replied not taking his eyes from hers. "Just let me show you something before.

"Just let me get dressed,"

"Of course," he added with a smile. He still found endearing how she would wrap herself around the blanket hiding her nudity. He had seen her body many times before but she always covered herself afterwards. He left the room to give her some privacy to dress up and waited next to the door. He recalled their first night together. Only the gods and the ancestors knew he was anxious, but he had managed to make her feel safe in his arms, but then his nerves betrayed him and the first time did not turn out so well.

Mulan came out of their room wearing a peach dress, which suited her skin tone. She fixed her hair in a lose bun and wore the jade earrings she had worn the day she visited the matchmaker. She had no makeup except for the slight dark outline on her eyelids. Shang loved how beautiful she looked and yet how simple she was, unlike other women who would hide their faces beneath layers of white paint and hang plenty of gemstones and metal on their necks and hands.

Shang smiled and complimented her beauty and she smiled shyly back at him. He walked behind her and asked her to close her eyes. She obeyed and then he lifted her in his arms to lead her into the extensive Li family backyard.

"You may open your eyes now," he consented.

She looked at her surroundings, and noticed nothing out of the ordinary wondering what he wanted to show her.

He put her down.

"Open your hands," he commanded softly.

Mulan did as she was told as he handed her a wooden bucket of water. She looked up at him questioningly.

Shang pointed at a small tree next to her. She poured the water on the earth holding the small tree.

"I planted the seeds that grew into a tree a few days before our wedding," he explained, "and I thought it could be our tree, since it symbolizes our life together." Mulan nodded in understanding. Shang could be somewhat reserved; on the other hand, when he wanted to show affection he would provide her with something with a profound meaning which allowed her to know he cared for her more than she could imagine. "It began to grow at the same time we began our life together as a couple, and all this time I have learned so many things about you, and as the roots of this tree have grown, the roots of my feelings have grown and settled within you. Fa Mulan, I never knew true bliss until I met you." Mulan stared into his eyes and smiled genuinely as he took both of her hands in his own. "I want to be by your side and watch this tree grow stronger so we can have a special place to be together, and maybe someday our children can play beneath it." At the mention of the word children, Mulan looked away from him as the feeling of loss and sadness returned.

"I'll go fix your breakfast," she announced and turned her back to leave.

"Mulan?" he called out behind her. He had not planned for her to cut him off so quickly.

She pretended she had not heard him and hastened her pace as tears began to pour from her almond shaped eyes. Her vision blurred and she did not notice a rock on her way and tripped over it. Shang ran to reach her.

He knelt beside her and placed one arm over her back. She pursed her lips and remained with her arms stretched leaning her weight on her palms. She refused to let him see she was crying. But it was too late.

The mandatory question the situation implied was asked, "Are you alright?" She nodded regardless of the truth. He surrounded her body with both his arms and brought her closer to him her back against his chest.

"Let me see."

Slowly she moved her legs stretched before her, and it was then she felt the pain on her left ankle, though it was nothing compared to the ache she was feeling inside her.

Shang ran one hand down her leg gently applying pressure to check if she had sprained a bone.

"Let me know where it hurts."

"It's the ankle," she responded.

Shang put his hand on her ankle examining it.

"Seems it's fine, it'll get swollen," he said, "just the impact, I had never seen you in such a hurry to make breakfast for me."

Mulan smiled lopsidedly.

"Mulan, is there something you want to tell me?"

She looked into his eyes knowing perfectly he was aware something was not right; she could no longer conceal the truth from him. Every day became harder than before. How should she start? Dozens of phrases were in her mind, yet she could not utter a single word.

"Shang, I don't deserve all this," she began, "I have been a lousy wife to you."

"That's nonsense Mulan."

"I didn't remember our anniversary"

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It's not like I haven't forgotten important dates."

"It's not just that," she said through a fit of tears, "it's been a year and I haven't given you a son."She swallowed hard. Hoping he would at least get a hint of what she wanted to tell him, perhaps it would make it easier.

"It's fine, you said you wanted to wait. I guess the heavens are giving us more time for ourselves."

He gently drew her head against his chest as she continued sobbing. He was somewhat surprised, for all he knew Mulan was not willing to have a child yet. The young general did not understand what was going on. She was so different from the Mulan he had left three months ago. He had never seen her so vulnerable for so long, and he felt helpless and uneasy every time she started crying, mostly because he did not know how he should act or what to say in order to soothe her. He held on to her in silence wondering if she was still resenting the words he said to her before he left on the mission. Then he remembered hearing women were more sensitive when they got pregnant. _Could it be?_

Authors note: Hope you can see where Shang's thoughts are going now. Thank you kindly for taking your time to read and review. I really appreciate it.

Thecoldestraindrops are tears: I'm glad you're back. I'm really looking forward to reading your next chapter. (Can't mention that enough =)

Julianne91: Neither can I wait to write it down. =)

Mi li ya mu: Thank you so much for reading the story and reviewing. Shang told her the truth because he really wants to patch things up with Mulan, and he doesn't want people telling her gossip.

Patty: thank you very much =) it's always my motivation to know people are liking my story.

jenna zabala: True. The longer she waits to tell him the harder it'll get.

tinemelk: You have no idea how honored I feel with your comment. Thank you so much. =)

: Thank you very much. He will find out eventually.

levy120: Yay, a long nice review. =) I felt the same about the last part, I had actually thought about moving on with it as if he had already told her like you said

I-love-Mulan-13: thank you very much :)

Abby reads: yeah definitely, I have evolved. I was pretty much a girl back when I wrote my first fanfics, which were originally my play scripts. Thank you so much for pointing out my mistake I'll get to fix it. I'm actually planning to edit the story during the winter break.

_A little info for the next chapter: Mulan and Shang will go visit the Fa family. Stay tuned =)_


	16. A Man's Grief

Author's Note: After a lot of drafting and redrafting , the 16th chapter is finally finished. I truly hope it fills all your expectations.

Chapter 16

A Man's Grief.

Mulan and Shang rode silently side by side heading towards the Fa home. Earlier they had shared an argument about the way she folded Shang's clothes. What started as a simple suggestion on Shang's part became the ultimate drama between them. Mulan had assumed the comment had a reproachful undertone, so she told Shang he should do it himself. The argument had been completely pointless, and the son of the late General Li preferred to leave her alone before he could say anything to make things worse. Lately they had been arguing too much about nonsense, and he just did not know what to say to her or how to treat her anymore considering she would take things the wrong way. Nevertheless, he prepared his horse to join her visit home.

When they reached the outskirts of Mulan's hometown, Shang decided to make amends with her by starting a conversation.

"General Wan invited us for dinner tomorrow," he began in a gentle voice.

Mulan turned to him. "What for?" He could still sense she was not through with their earlier argument.

"I don't know, he just said he wanted to see us," he said patiently.

"Oh," she interjected revealing her lack of interest on the matter.

"I think it would be nice to go out together for a change, it would be a good distraction for you. You have been spending most of the time at home."

"Do I have a choice?" It really annoyed him when she replied with bitter sarcasm. It made him feel like he had enslaved her to marriage. As far as he knew she had not been forced, she had willingly accepted his proposal and it had been her who had made the promise to abdicate her place in the army , yet he felt guilty about it; as if he held her spirit hostage.

"I never implied you don't, but it would be very impolite to refuse his invitation," he reasoned. His tone hurt by her derisive incrimination. He was growing tired of these twisted wordplays.

"Then go yourself. You ARE the General."

"And you are MY WIFE." He truly intended to emphasize the fact that being his wife was just as important as her being a soldier, not necessarily declare she was his possession. Nevertheless, Mulan considered the latter option.

"I cannot serve in the army but I have to go to the stupid dinners."

"Is that what this is all about?" By now his patience was completely gone.

"You know how I hate going to those dinners, having to make conversation with women I have nothing in common with while you diss me ."

"I don't diss you! You know how important it is for me to relate with the other generals."

"Yeah gambling at mah jong is very important!"

"It's not about the gambling! I need to be in good terms with all the officials."

"Of course, it's more important to have a good relationship with THEM and not YOUR WIFE"

"Then perhaps MY WIFE should make the effort not to get so irritated about everything I say, and stop pretending she's asleep when I want to make the wind and the rain with her." His voice had risen to the limit.

"Yes, 'cause that's why we got married! All you ever want to do with me is THAT!"

"Damn it! You are impossible!" He yelled throwing his arms in frustration, "We used to do it every day and you never complained. You wanted it as much as I did!"

For a moment, she found no good argument to that. He was right, no doubt. Things were so different before she had the miscarriage.

"Well I'm tired," she finally said. Her pitch had somehow weakened.

"Tired of what? Staring at the ceiling while you lay in bed all day?"

"Stop it!"

"Don't you shut me up! I get to have the last word because I am the man and I deserve my wife's respect."

He had never been so hard on her. He knew he had not married a quiet and obedient woman, but lately he just found it hard to maintain their relationship harmonious. He had been struggling with her distant behavior. He was not upset because she had silenced him, it simply hurt him how easy she would snap at him and push him away. The young general was hurt deeply, but he knew no other way with dealing with his pain other than to conceal it. He had been taught to appear strong no matter what, and the only way he could achieve that was through intimidation. He felt a wave of guilt rush over him, there was no need to yell at her. They were not in the military. He was not her commanding officer anymore

They remained silent the rest of the way. When they reached the Fa home, Shang dismounted his horse first and offered his hand to help Mulan down Khan, but she turned the other way and dismounted on her own.

Fa Zhou opened the large wooden door for them. He approached his daughter and let her embrace her. She held him tight just the way she would when she was a girl and something was troubling her. The elder man patted her back, and raised his eyes to meet Shang's who bowed respectfully. He sensed there was tension between the young couple. Mulan and her father pulled away and he moved aside so they would lead the horses into the stables. It scared Shang how his wife and her father would communicate without words. Perhaps he should have let her come alone. He shook his head, he was not a coward.

"I'll let your mother know you're here," Fa Zhou announced.

Inside the stables Shang took advantage of the privacy they had there and decided he should apologize for yelling at her earlier, regardless of his pride.

"Listen Mulan," he began, "I shouldn't have said that."

"But you did," she replied coldly, her back on him.

"Can we just pretend we are fine in front of your family?" he offered, " You can yell at me all you want at home."

"Fine," she uttered making her way out without waiting for him to follow.

Just then Mulan's mother and grandmother appeared on the stable doors. Granny Fa went straight to embrace Shang while Fa Li greeted her daughter.

"Look at you," her mother chided her softly, "You look slimmer than the last time I saw you. Are you eating properly?"

"Child it should be the other way around," Granny Fa declared and turned to Shang whose face flushed . "Aren't you two working on giving me a great grandchild?" Some things were just meant for them to keep them private.

"Mama!" exclaimed Fa Li anxiously.

"Anyhow, Li Shang you must make sure she eats properly."

"Yeah…I've been telling her…" he cut himself off at the sight of Mulan's look of disapproval.

"Well, you got here just in time for a meal," said Fa Li.

Shang gestured Mulan to walk in front of him politely.

They all sat around the wooden table. Mulan helped setting the table, and Fa Li served them rice and pork in their bowls. The youngest woman took her seat next to her husband.

"So," Fa Zhou finally spoke up, "It's been a year since you two got married." He turned to his son-in-law who swallowed his food as fast as he could to utter a comment.

"Yes indeed, sir."

The young general then reached for his wife's hand and placed his on top of hers affectionately. She could feel his sweat knowing it made him nervous to be around his father-in-law. If she weren't still upset about the conversation they had before they arrived, she would have squeezed his hand reassuringly, but instead she simply faked a smile. It did not take her long to slip her hand out of his to continue eating.

"I truly hope you both are happy," Fa Zhou went on, "cause the heavens know marriage is not easy, but it does require a constant effort on both sides."

Mulan looked up at her father wondering if and how her father knew about the constant bickering between them. Shang, in turn, kept putting food in his mouth nervously. He felt he had failed his father-in-law, for his daughter deserved more than him being away most of the time working.

"We try, baba," she spoke up.

"All the struggle you both endure together will make you stronger, and one day when you are older you will look back and see what you learned."

For a moment the young couple turned to each other with the intention of reassuring each had heard the elder man's words.

Later Fa Zhou changed the conversation to the current situation in the country.

"So what news can you give us about China, are we safe?"

Shang pondered for a moment an answer. He knew the middle kingdom's relationships with the other kingdoms were waning.

"Well, we are working on negotiations with the other kingdoms to keep their allegiances."

Fa Zhou nodded in understanding.

"That explains why we haven't seen much of you lately."

"Mulan have you been going with Shang too?"asked her mother concerned.

"Oh…no…we agreed I wouldn't." Her discomfort was evident to all the people present. She couldn't bear answering more questions. She knew her parents were suspicious something was not right, but she did not have the strength to face them, so she excused herself and left the kitchen.

Three pairs of eyes were fixed on Shang. He assumed they were expecting him to go after her, or present them an explanation. He preferred to follow her. Fa Zhou had also stood up to make sure his daughter was fine, but the ladies eyed him in a way they suggested he should let his son-in-law deal with whatever needed to be resolved.

Shang found Mulan sitting on the bench under the cherry blossom tree, her favorite spot to ponder. She looked up and saw her husband coming her way.

He took a seat at the end of the bench, keeping some distance between them. Uncertain if he should apologize again, he searched for accurate words to begin a conversation.

"I just can't continue pretending we are fine," she confessed.

"It's hard," he agreed, "your parents definitely seem to sense we are not exactly in the best of terms right now."

She smiled weakly.

"We shouldn't have come," she observed.

"We shouldn't have argued before coming," he remarked.

"We should've ended the nonsense," she continued. At last she had turned to face him, which somehow made him smile openly. How much she loved to see him smile, it always gave her a warm feeling within.

"I just worry about you," Shang went on, "I am concerned about your happiness. I don't want you to feel imprisoned. I know we had an agreement, but I guess I can be flexible."

Mulan nodded knowing he meant every word.

"It was my fault anyway," she began, "I haven't been myself lately."

He had no argument to her last statement.

"I just feel there is something different with you. Something that wasn't there before I left," he sighed trying to relieve himself as he remembered how blissful he had felt with her the first months of their marriage. They had had quarrels then, but they ended quickly. He did not want to lose her. Silenced reined between them for a while.

"Shang," she whispered hesitantly. "Something DID happen while you were away." He saw the anguish grow in her eyes, fearing the worst was not over.

"Whatever it is," he spoke up nervously, "remember we agreed we wouldn't keep things from each other." He placed one hand underneath hers and the other one on top patting it gently trying to reassure her, and at the same time reassure himself. Various things came to his mind, among them that Mulan had betrayed him.

He was right, after all he had all the right to know. She mustered some courage from within, and finally spoke up "I…I …I lost our baby." The sentence had finally been uttered.

Shang let go off Mulan's hand and slowly moved away from her on the bench. He expected everything, and yet it was the last thing that crossed his mind.

"What do you mean?" he asked trying to confirm what she had previously confessed. Amid his heavy thoughts, perhaps he had heard wrong.

"I had a miscarriage."

He was speechless and shocked. His gaze was lost and he did not dare move. At first he wondered how and when she got with child, and then he wondered why he had never been informed of it.

"Shang, please talk to me."

He came back from his trance and glowered at Mulan. If only she had not challenged the gods and the ancestors by claiming she was not ready to have a child.

"You were p..pr..pregnant?"

She nodded guiltily.

"You never said anything to me," he fumbled for words, "I should have known…you should have told me." Before there was time for her to explain, he finished, "I can't believe you did this to me."

He stood up. As Mulan reached for his hand he pulled it away from her immediately, as if he felt repulsed by her. The young general headed towards the stables in a fast pace, and she followed.

"Shang, I can explain." A painful memory was brought to their minds. But he was too hurt and angry with the current events to linger on their past.

"Explain what?" He finally faced her, his eyes stone cold, " How you lied to me? How you defied the heavens into losing our child?" He turned his back on her and readied himself to mount his stallion. Mulan placed a hand on his shoulder behind him.

"Please. I did not know what to do."

"I can't be with you right now." He pulled away from her violently , and pushed her aside.

"Don't you follow me!" With those last words said, Shang and his horse left the stable, and then the Fa home. He pressed his heels on his steed's barrel to increase its speed. He rode with no direction.

Mulan watched him ride away clutching her shoulder. He had never used his physical strength against her, unless they were sparring. But she knew he was always careful. It was not the bruise itself that wound her, it was the fact it had been him who provoked it.

Shang's mind was clouded in anger.

Anger towards her.

Anger towards her betrayal.

How could she not tell him?

It was his child too.

Once he dismounted a horse, he found a tree where he stuck his pocket knife. He had the need to destroy something to release his pain. He groaned angrily as he felt a sudden pull within his heart, as if something had been snatched away from him, and all he could do was to watch helplessly. He slid the knife down the tree, making some bark peel away from the trunk.

A loud thunder broke the silence. Soon heavy rain began to fall.

Shang sank to his knees in defeat. The day his mother passed away was the day he had lost his sense of belonging to a family. True, he had his father; nonetheless, they hardly ever spent time together as father and son. Most of the time, Shang had to address his father by his rank, and they seldom held a conversation other than military strategies, weapons, and martial arts.

With Mulan he had found an illusion of belonging to a family once again. But now it all seemed to be in the verge of being lost. Lately, his wife could not even look him in the eyes out of shame, and now he learned she had lost a child. What if she could not bear him children? Would he have to take another woman? Life was too unfair.

He knew his wife better. She may have kept things a secret, but she must have had a good reason. Sometimes he wished he could understand all the underlying implications of her behavior. Some husband he turned out to be, he wasn't worthy of her trust.

His anger towards her was transferred into himself. He knew perfectly well he was definitely not innocent. The way he treated her sometimes made no wonder she had decided to keep things to herself. How could he have been so insensitive?

Mulan was his family. He had promised to make her happy, and yet had failed her.

His thoughts returned to the being who never got to be born, and he wondered if he would have been a good father to him. He would have taught him to defend him or herself, and most importantly he would have taught him about honor and devotion.

A single tear travelled down his face.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for following the story. I've still got more in store to continue writing. Please let me know what you think so far.

Special Thanks to:

Abbyreads: Thanks for the observation. I really appreciate it.

Mi li ya mu: Thanks for reading everything so far. It's been a pleasure to meet someone like you.

I-love-Mulan 13: Indeed, it's been one of the hardest things she's ever done. And now admitting it out loud made it more real for her than it already was. Thanks.

Starzinmyeyez : Thank you

jenna zabala : done.

Alice Prince: I really hope it was better

Icy Spark: Thanks. Sorry for the delay though.

tinemelk: it was very hard on him as well.

candyredlove: granted working on the next one as well.

TonyxZivaxforeverrrxox: thank you so much for reading I really appreciate it.

queenofwaves: thank you so much for the encouragement.

Phantasmicdragon: Your review came in such perfect timing. It means a lot to me when people take the time to encourage me to keep writing. I really enjoy it, and I most certainly will. Once again, thank you so much.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Author's note**__: After a very long break, I present to you Chapter 17 of the Struggle of Yin and Yang. I really don't want to bore you with my excuses here and delay your reading any further. But if you do want to know what made me take so long I am determined to publish it on my Deviant Art journal_. Scroll down for the personalized thank you notes. ;)

To all my readers and reviewers you have no idea how grateful I am for your support. I can't thank you enough. Getting more than twenty reviews leaves me no other choice but to continue writing and update. Let's hope this year leaves me enough time for it.

_**CHAPTER 17: **_

_**Empathy**_

Li Shang opened his eyes as his body reminded him it was time for his morning routine of martial arts. He had barely gotten a couple of hours of sleep the previous night and the night before that was not any different

Just then, he became aware of the small head resting on his chest, the straight raven locks half-concealing her features, and her small toned leg curled around his as if preventing him from leaving the bed. He smile widened his lips at the thought. For all he cared, he could be her captive.

But she was still deep asleep, looking ever so peaceful as her breath rose and fell. He removed the locks of hair covering her face and he could have sworn her lips were slightly arched into a smile.

He remained there motionless, his eyes fascinated at the sight of his new sleeping bride, admiring her beauty and being grateful she was finally his own, his wife. The heavens seemed to have rewarded him, after all the struggle in his life. He slid his fingers gently down the arm she had resting across his chest. He knew he was loved; needless to say, he had grown to adore her.

A gentle wind blew into the room making Mulan shiver in her sleep. Seeing this, Shang pulled the blanket ensuring her back was well covered. She looked so beautiful, so delicate…

The arm resting on his chest was withdrawn with a caress. She opened one eye very slowly and then the other one. She surveyed her surroundings, speechless at first, and then she turned to him and whispered his name.

He simply smiled and stared intently into her dark brown almond shaped eyes. She smiled back at him and idly placed her arm on his side, below his ribs, silently requesting him to approach her.

"Are you cold?" he asked showing true concern.

The young general wanted to provide his new bride with all the comfort possible.

"Not much," she answered, "just the morning chill."

He ran his hands up and down her back to give her warmth. Her eyelids fell shut in relaxation.

"Did you sleep well?"

She hummed in agreement.

"Are you sure?"

It had been the first time they were engaged in the physical act of love, and he feared he may have hurt her. Although he had been tenderly careful he was not able to prevent the inevitable.

"Yes, Shang," she assured placing a finger between his narrowed eyebrows.

He turned to the window and then back to her.

"It's still pretty early," he pointed out, "go back to sleep." His last statement sounded commanding but he immediately made it seem less imperative when he leaned towards her and kissed her forehead.

He was about to lay on his back again, but she prevented him when she stroked his cheek and lead his lips to her own. He granted her silent request by kissing her thoroughly, enjoying every instant of it because he was allowed to. After the night's events they seemed less awkward with each others' presence. Both of them had been nervous due to inexperience and yet longing to be with one another. He was tender and reassuring. She was equally passionate and sweet. He knew then and there he would not trade her for the glory he had sought in the battlefield. Thus, once again, they were caught in the thrill of the infatuation for one another.

It seemed like decades had gone by. Shang was brought to the present at the sound of a cheerful chuckle.

"An amateur could have seen that coming, Li Shang. Come on I'm getting bored of beating you so easily. Give me a challenge!"

General Wan Gan had been close to the Li family every since Shang could remember. He fought alongside his late father and at some point the possibility of uniting their families through marriage had been discussed. But General Li passed away before arrangements could be settled and Li Shang had fallen for his female trainee.

General Wan and his wife had bred seven daughters and not one single son. Thus, he had developed certain fatherly kinship with his late friend's eldest son, which Shang had accepted in his own reserved way.

Shang made another carelessly miscalculated move on the _xiang-qi_ board giving Wan Gan an effortless victory.

"Either you're too troubled to focus, or you let me win out of pity."

The elder man called out his wife, Chun Hua, and asked her to bring them some rice wine.

"I shouldn't" was Shang's immediate response

"Nonsense, you're out of duty," declared Wan Gan.

"No, it's just …I haven't eaten today."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"No, it's fine. The last thing I want is to make you…"

"Wifey didn't want to cook for you today huh?"

"No, it's just that she's at her parents' home."

"What did you two love birds squabble about?"

Shang wished his father's friend would not stalk him with so many questions at once. It was so difficult to conceal things from a man who was proficient at reading people, but he was determined not to discuss his marital problems. He did not confirm or deny the elder man's statement spared from speaking when Chun Hua came back carrying a tray. She placed the bottle of rice wine and two cups before each man, then graciously poured the liquor into them. She bowed and turned to leave.

"Chun Hua, darling, please bring something for the boy to eat."

She nodded and excited the room again.

"So what did you do?"

Shang shook his head and reached for the cup. He sipped as much of the liquid as he could.

The elder man placed a hand on his arm. "Easy, you should put something in your stomach first. Your little wifey will not be too happy if you go home smelling like wine."

Shang nodded and placed the cup back on the table.

"You know I can't help you if you don't talk."

Shang sighed helplessly. The man was right. He needed advice. He had no idea how to deal with the current events at home. In spite of the fact he was still disappointed with Mulan keeping things from him, he was no longer angry at her.

"I was a real idiot to her when she needed me to be more understanding. I put my own feelings before considering how hard it must have been to her, and I blamed her for things she had no fault for."

"Is this about what happened on your last mission?"

Shang felt ashamed of himself. True he was innocent, but was aware of the rumors spread and the effect they had on his reputation, even the emperor, who trusted him blindly, seemed to be doubtful about the events of that night. The last thing he needed was his father's old friend to misjudge him.

"No, we discussed that already, and she knows the truth. I wouldn't be unfaithful to her."

"Then, was she?"

"No, I know she wouldn't. She is the most loyal person I know." His last statement said without hesitation.

"Then what can be so terrible you two can't sit down and talk it through?

"Well, she has been different around me, easily irritated, oversensitive…."

"Pregnant?"

"She lost it," Shang shut his eyes painfully, "before she knew she was, apparently."

"I am so sorry." By now the elder man had placed a hand on Shang's back and patted him lightly in a fatherly fashion.

"When she finally told me, all I did was yell at her and blame her for hiding the truth from me."

"She must have had her motives."

"It hurt me she didn't tell me and I ran to get away from her. I couldn't be with her I felt so betrayed, just like the time I discovered she was a woman, only this time, the aggravation felt more personal. Why would she keep something so important from me? I am her husband."

"It must have been very difficult for her. I understand your position, but you should know she needs you now. She needs your understanding, even forgiveness. You need to be strong for her. You cannot compare the grief she must be feeling with the hurt you feel for her keeping that information secret."

"I know," he went on, "I just wish she wouldn't have to go through this. She doesn't deserve it. She has put up with Chan Yuan's incessant nagging. She gave up her place on the army to marry me. She is the one person who has been there for me unconditionally. If there was something I could have done to prevent this, I would have gladly done it…"

"There isn't, Li Shang. You just have to learn to live with it, the same way you have lived with your parents' deaths. As painful as it is, it has molded your character. The ordeals we receive from the heavens are not necessarily punishments for our mistakes," the elder man spoke knowingly. " we are not assigned challenges we cannot overcome. You are a warrior and so is she . This tragedy will make you both grow stronger. If you support her, she will heal. She needs your strength and not your weaknesses. It is time you repay all that she has done for you. She needs her husband, and most importantly she needs you to help her get rid of the guilt.

Shang nodded having no arguments against his confidant's last words.

"So go now. Don't waste your time with this old man and mend things with your wife."

**Author's Notes:**

So how did you like it? Please let me know.

I apologize if there are any typos here. If you do notice some mistake and tell me, I will gladly correct it.

I do reply private messages in you're interested.

I've been considering of thanking people through private messages whenever they log in to review.** I will do it on the next chapter.**

I have been working on improvements for this story and Yin Yang Out of Balance.

Although my passive role on proves otherwise, I have been working on several one-shots and possible plots**. **

On 2013 we celebrate the 15th Anniversary of Mulan's release on theaters and the Mulan blu-ray is coming soon.

_**Personalized THANK YOU NOTES : **_

**PriTuesday**: My most recent review. Reading it really made me get my hands to type faster. The reasons why I didn't update any sooner were basically work and the uncertainty regarding to where the story was going. Good news is the story found its way again. In spite of the years it's taken me to complete this, I promise I will not quit. ;)

**Ifassmann:** Thank you for the three reviews. I cannot deny it's been a bit difficult for me to write this situation, especially since I was uncertain about the readers' reactions. Time and my schedule are always against me, but I'm working on it. So, you're a fellow teacher? You know how it is

**I-love-Mulan13:** Thank you for your kind words. I will try not to disappoint you.

**Guest and Cryptic Moon Fang**: I will.

**MyahLyah**: Thank you for reading and leaving your thoughts on several chapters. I really appreciate my readers' insights. Indeed, it was very difficult on Shang. He has had a very difficult and lonely life. Mulan has been his light, seeing her broken shatters everything within Shang. I did not exactly intend to make him seem like a jerk. However, I did want him to react to her news in a way it reflected the mixture of emotions he felt at once: anguish, guilt, betrayal, regret, sadness, deception. In other words, it was too much for him to handle, and he wanted to set himself apart from Mulan with the intention of processing his own feelings, like when he discovered Ping was a woman. He certainly does not mean harm, but ends up wounding Mulan with his actions, mostly because he lacks the emotional wisdom. (Not that he's a fool, but most of us agree that his father was not exactly the most affectionate parent, and with all the military training, he was likely to be taught to control and contain his emotions rather than show them. So I figure that's why he prefers to be alone when he finds out.

**Livingintheshire:** I apologize. He is a very complex human being. He is a good man though.

**patty:** Thank you for your kind words, they are very motivating for me.

**Fatcake:** :') Thank you for your kind words.

**Monique221**:Thank you. Glad you do.

**Vgfujdfhhjnb**: Sorry about the delay. Thank you.

**Diany**: Thank you for liking my story. I really hope you will get to read this update.

**Sangofan89:** I won't give up. Thanks for the good vibes and motivation.

**Queenofwaves**: I encourage you to write and publish. I'm glad you enjoy reading my story as I enjoy writing it. Thank you for your kind words.

**Canadarulz:** Can't really argue with that. Lol. However, we both know he's not really that big. Lol.

**Starzinmieyez**: Yay! Welcome. I love how deep Mulan and Shang can get, that's why I love to write about them.

**Alice Prince**: Once again thank you for your insight, it really encourages me to go on with the story.

**GothicGoddess29:** Thank you so much for the kind words.

**bairin breac:** Thank you very much.

**feli3:** Stay tuned for future chapters. Mulan and Shang still have a long way of things to learn.

**Phantasmic Dragon**: Yay! You noticed what I intended to do. Thank you so much for your insight.

**MeaXD:** Thank you.

**Mulan and Shang Forever:** Thank you for the insight. I am working on the story.

Special thanks to readers and people who have added my stories to their favorites and alerts.


End file.
